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Our relationship is hanging by a thread, because of a million misunderstandings between us, that can be cleared, only if you give us the chance to speak in private.
Dear in-laws,
This is your daughter-in-law. The one you were supposed to consider as your daughter, claim to consider as one, but don’t really. This is me, a person, although you fail to see me as that.
I’m not a competition to your family. I’m just a girl in love with your son — isn’t that what you wanted? Or did you only wish for a maid and bed partner for him, and a womb to carry your family name forward?
Your son is so afraid of what you will think that he sits and talks with you until past midnight, until his eyes are heavy, and you are convinced that he can’t stay awake for a minute more, before coming to the room to spend time with me.
There is almost no communication between us. When everything from shopping to going to the nearest theatre is a family affair, how do you expect us to have time for each other? By the time you let us sleep, we are beyond exhausted.
In the face of the odd chance that we do get to do something together, as a couple — be it going for a movie or even going to a tourist spot; you want to go there with him the next week.
Your son — the person you love the most , is trying to balance his life between you and me. Our relationship is hanging by a thread, because of a million misunderstandings between us, that can be cleared, only if you give us the chance to speak in private.
Every time I want to go home, there is a ‘why’ that comes from your end. If I want to stay for a few days, there’s still a ‘why’. You can’t even digest the fact that your son has a girl in his life, inspite of him giving you all his time. How do you think my parents feel, looking at my empty room, knowing full well that I’m not getting the care or time with my husband as I should be?
You can’t bear to listen to one rude comment from your son, but when he insults my parents in front of you, you stay quiet. The air you breathe reeks of hypocrisy.
Dear parents of the man I love, I’m sticking on to this because I love your son. But I’m loosing respect for you with each passing day. We are trying very hard to keep our relationship from meeting it’s end. We are emotionally disturbed. You are one of the reasons why. I cannot become his father or mother, just like you cannot become his wife. You are irreplaceable. So am I. Please do not make him choose.
Image source: a still from the series Agga Bai Sasu Bai
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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