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Just Because He Is My Husband, I Should Get A Smaller Appraisal Than Him?

Posted: January 31, 2021

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Our work may differ but there is always a comparison and my husband is always supposed to earn more! Why can’t I be on par with him?

A year after their wedding, Arjun and Meena visited his native place during the December vacation. Arjun’s parents did everything to make sure that their stay was comfortable.

Meena was like every regular DIL to Arjun’s mother. She would check in on her MIL every day through a phonecall and believed that they shared a strong and healthy relationship. On several occasions, Meena’s MIL had even bragged about her to their relatives making Meena believe she had entered the best marital home.

On a cold evening in December, Meena was preparing dinner for the family when she heard a conversation between Arjun and his mom. Arjun was deeply engrossed in his work while answering her questions.

The seemingly innocent questions weren’t as innocent!

“Arjun, what about your promotion this year?”

“Ma, it is called an appraisal that comes every year, promotion comes once in a while. As usual, my rating is one.”

“Oh! I see! Meena also works like you. So, she will also have this rating right? What about her?”

“Yes, Ma. She got ‘A’.”

“What does that mean? Is it more than you?”

Arjun remained silent.

“Arjun, I am asking you. It is less than yours, right?” his mother wanted an answer.

Meena was shocked to hear this and the chapati she flipped burnt on the stove just like her emotions.

Why must he get a higher appraisal than I do?

“My MIL made sure I was an MBA graduate just like her son. I thought she was the modern type who wanted me to focus on my career. And I have proudly told Arjun that she showers her love so much and treats me like her daughter. Now I wonder is it all fake? We work in different companies and the nature of our job is contrasting. Yet, there is a comparison, and I should be rated below him just for the reason he is my spouse?”

Just like Meena, there are several DILs whose career is investigated by their in-laws. What if she gets paid more than him? Would they ask her to quit? Sadly, these instances still prevail. How long do we need to undergo this hidden stress? Somewhere down the line, we need to make sure that this situation changes. And if not, we need to make the change ourselves!

Picture credits: Still from Hindi TV series Anupamaa

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