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With actor Elliot Page (Juno, Umbrella Academy) coming out as a trans man, can we learn how to be a trans ally to our loved ones?
As actor Elliot Page comes out as transgender, we must educate ourselves and other people with some basic trans etiquettes, in order to become a better and more supportive ally. Especially when a friend, colleague, or any other loved one comes out as trans, making their transition easier.
In a statement put on Instagram, actor Elliot Page announced that he is transgender. He also said that his pronouns are he/they.
Elliot expressed gratitude to all the people who supported him in this journey and wrote that he’s endlessly inspired by many in the trans community; he thanked the community for its courage, generosity and ceaseless working to make this world a more inclusive and a compassionate place.
He acknowledges that despite being profoundly happy and knowing how much privilege he carries, he is also scared, scared of the invasiveness, hate, ‘jokes’ and violence. He also highlights the discrimination and violence transgender people face in their lives.
Elliot, who has been an outspoken advocate for all LGBTQ+ people says that he will continue to strive for a more loving and equal society, and would do everything he can to change this world for the better. He will be an inspiration for many transgender and non-binary people.
Most of the time, allies or people not a part of the LGBTQIA+ community stay uneducated and unaware about how to extend support, or approach their friends, family members, or anybody close to them who has come out.
Coming out as transgender means that a person has owned publicly that they are not of the gender they had been assigned at birth, and are living their life as their authentic self. Their ownership of their identity should be respected.
We can educate ourselves about some basic trans etiquettes that can be used in order to become a better ally to transgender people.
Here are some tips for allies of transgender people, excerpted from GLAAD –
Gender Identity is different from Sexual Orientation.
Sexual orientation is about who we’re attracted to. Gender identity is about a person’s own sense of being male or a female (or someone outside these binary genders). Transgender people can be gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, anywhere else on the spectrum or straight.
Be polite and respectful when you ask a person which pronoun they prefer.
If you must ask which pronoun the person uses, start with your own. If you accidentally use the wrong pronoun, apologize quickly and sincerely, then move on.
For some transgender people, birth name is simply a part of their life they wish to leave behind. In LGBTQIA+ lingo, it’s called a deadname.
Respect the name a transgender person is currently using. If you already know someone’s prior name, don’t share it without the person’s explicit permission. (Hence we have not used Elliot’s deadname here!)
Listen with an open mind to transgender people speaking for themselves.
Check out books, films, real life stories and trans blogs to learn more about transgender people and the issues they face. Listen and learn about transgender people and activists around you.
Like in India, transgender activists like Gauri Sawant and Akkai Padmashali are fighting for the rights of transgender people and sexual minorities. Akkai Padmashali has founded a human rights organisation called ‘Ondede’ to advocate the rights of children, women and sexual minorities.
A lack of awareness, education and sensitivity around transgender issues and rights still exists in society – insensitive examples like the recent Akshay Kumar film Laxmii abound. Let us be better people, and better allies to those around us who will feel safer coming out as their true selves.
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My house-help asked excitedly, “I am going for wedding. Can you let me wear your red & black saree? To be honest I was stumped for a moment; I didn’t know what to say but I still said yes.
I lent a gorgeous saree to my house-help for a wedding in her family. Soon I stated getting questions if I would wear that saree again or if I was okay to be seen wearing the same saree my house-help was wearing?
We are all so conditioned to give our used clothes to our house-helps but are we okay to wear the clothes they were wearing?
A few days ago she came excitedly to me, “I am going for a family wedding. I want to wear your red & black saree, Ill wash and give it to you after the function. Please can you let me wear it?”
Beauty is a very clever, very evil capitalist tool. It traps those who have it into hanging on to it for dear life and those who don't into mutilating, torturing themselves to achieve the unachievable.
I recently wrote a piece about MP Shashi Tharoor’s tweet in which he had shared a pic with six women parliamentarians tagging them and saying “Who says the Lok Sabha isn’t an attractive place to work?”
There was a rash of comments on the post shared on Instagram, which ranged from “chill, it’s just a compliment” and “stop overthinking compliments”, to (worried) men lamenting about “these feminazi”.
Here’s my answer to all those comments.
As long as cishet actors do an LGBTQIA+ movie once in a while, it’s 'not a problem for us'. Because it comfortably 'guards' our cultural queer/transphobia by reminding us that films like CKA are still an exception and not a norm.
Make no mistake. I am a huge Ayushmann Khurrana fan! The 2012 Shoojit Sircar helmed Vicky Donor was a refreshing shift from the pile of same-old Bollywood machismo. From a sperm donor, a man battling baldness (Bala), a son coming to terms with his middle-aged parents’ active sex life (Badhaai Ho!) to a gay man in love (Shubh Mangal Zyaada Saavdhaan), Khurrana has shown the manifold possibilities of progressive humane storytelling. He successfully reminded the average Indian masculine ethos that men can be vulnerable, anxious, insecure, and well, gay.
And now, he is back with Chandigarh Kare Aashiqui. Here, he plays a fitness provider who falls in love with a Zumba instructor (played by actor Vaani Kapoor). But that’s not all. Kapoor plays a transgender woman and Khurrana a typical heterosexual, cisgender Punjabi man. What follows, according to some media outlets, is a “twisted” love story.
I am ecstatic that mainstream Bollywood is bravely pushing the narrative boundaries. Indian web-series and anthologies like Sacred Games, Feels Like Ishq, Ajeeb Daastans, Ankahi Kahaaniyan have successfully mainstreamed lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer stories into the consciousness of Indian and Indian diasporic consumers of popular culture. However, this tectonic cultural shift needs more active discussion, especially when it comes to the Ayushmann led LGBTQIA+ narratives.
The Transgender Persons Act 2019 has many and obvious flaws that needs a complete overhaul and reworking. An in-depth look at the situation as it stands.
On 26 November 2019, with the passing of the Transgender Persons (Protection of Rights) Bill 2019, the Parliament of India enacted the law which claimed to entitle the welfare measures to the transgender community, and in turn, aggress the discrimination faced by them.
However, the act has been an issue of contention with the transgender community, who strongly opposed it by declaring it regressive and marked the day as “Gender Justice Murder Day.”