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No matter how many times people force you to blame yourself, don't ever give in. It wasn't their battle and they weren't the ones struggling to come up, so it's not the people who have a say in this.
No matter how many times people force you to blame yourself, don’t ever give in. It wasn’t their battle and they weren’t the ones struggling to come up, so it’s not the people who have a say in this.
Dear Survivor,
We are often judged for not being wise and are expected to know all, compelling us to question ourselves; ‘Why didn’t I know this was imminent?’ or ‘Could I have acted in a better way to stop it from happening?’
The self-doubt and guilt seem to be never-ending.
But this is where your inner strength activates to test you at first. You’d feel every emotion as intensely as one would. And then, everything would seem to tone down and you’d see yourself in a different light; the bright light of a fighter. They say life is a battlefield and yes, you have just won a battle. I wish I could show you how strong you are.
No matter how many times people force you to blame yourself, don’t ever give in. It wasn’t their battle and they weren’t the ones struggling to come up, so it’s not the people who have a say in this. It is you. You know better. You know how long to grieve and when to let go and move forward with your head held high.
Let’s just take our time to feel whatever we want to, and realize our worth. Let’s just not force the healing and wait patiently for good days to unfold.
The day you look at your reflection in the mirror and feel proud instead of sorry, would be the beginning of a new phase. You’ll be an inspiration and not just a survivor.
So, join the world, when you are ready!
A survivor of gender based trauma is affected in ways that go deep, and their worldview can get permanently damaged. It can be really crippling in their day to day life – whether in the personal or public sphere, and sending some comfort their way can help.
We at Women’s Web are collaborating with the Saahas App for Survivors of Gender Violence to reach out to women who need to be heard, and healing, as survivors of gender based violence. Letters to the survivor from our authors will be published on Women’s Web in the coming 10 days, and also on the Saahas website, in a series called “Dear Survivor”.
If you would like to participate, please upload your letter on your Women’s Web dashboard, and if chosen, it will be published.
Image source: pixabay
A passionate writer, who believes words open up a new world every time she guides her pen. According to her, they are the tools to explore and express. A self-proclaimed ambivert, who loves to read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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