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Parenting In The 21st Century- Points Worth Pondering About

Posted: October 3, 2020

Is parenthood more than telling your child what to do? Do children seek a friend in us? Read further for more insights.

We, as the parent of the 21st century, want our children to ace in every aspect of life, be it sports, studies or any field. We, deliberately or not take verdicts for our children and show our supremacies on them.

First and foremost, as a parent, we should understand that children are not our property. They came through us in this world. Being a parent is bringing them into this world. So we should know that we should not subjugate them. If we treat them as our property or as our future investment, we as the parent are creating a delinquent situation which we might pay not today but later, but, for sure.

Independence is what we all-including kids need

It may sound not lovely, but it is true. We want our children to be attached to us. We want them to guide in every small or big turn they come across. We don’t liberate them. We bond them with us with a thick chain of bondage which is challenging to release. We don’t set them free or let them use their brain anywhere. Let it be a little and straightforward project in school. We make them dependent on us. Ask for their ideas, and don’t push your thoughts on them.

Don’t you want your child to be better than you?

It’s a fact. No one on earth would want their child to be like them. We want our child to be at least one step better than us. Be it, anybody, doctor, an engineer, or an astronaut would also want their children to be better than them. Bet me! We always strive in giving children all the luxuries, which is the biggest blunder we, as a parent, are making. Let them make a mistake and learn from their mistake. It is the best way they will not recap the same delusion again. Directly teaching them without understanding is nothing but slow poison, which will eventually spoil their life. They will learn without any interest, and that will land them up nowhere.

We are not the boss of their existence.

We see our children as our audience, who are there to listen to us all the time. “Wash your hands after coming home”, “Go and do your homework”, “Eat “those veggies, “Don’t shout”, “Go and study”, “Go and play”, “Don’t watch TV”, etc. I guess the bosses in offices would be less commanding than us. It is indispensable to behave appropriately in front of children. Why? Read below.

Children watch our behaviour and learn from it.

It is essential to behave appropriately in front of children. Incredibly, one to three years of the toddler is the best graspers. They grasp every movement and every behaviour of yours. They don’t learn what you teach them; they see you and learn every second from you—behaving and correcting yourself where necessary is the best way of educating your child. They will be your replica when they grow up. They have a tremendous sense of observation.

The Pre-teens mark a dead-end for us as a parents.

You can educate, teach and bring out a responsible citizen off your kid only till they are twelve. Once they enter their lovely and hormonally active teenage, all is gone. You are overshadowing them. Moulding them until twelve will make their teenage move smoothly. It will be better for you and them both. 

Children need a friend and not a boss

It is indispensable to not boss around them every time. All our children need is a friend who listens to them and not a boss who throws orders all around. We are not one to give them orders. Being a parent doesn’t give us powers to subsume and rule them for life.

The only qualification we have is we are a few years more experienced as we came earlier on earth than them and that doesn’t make us more intelligent. It is necessary to guard against any odd and unnecessary advice. They observe, so it is essential to show involvement in life and enjoy what we are doing, and it will reflect.

Seek for their involvement

Making them realize and giving them time to work on it, they will come and seek your help when and where necessary or else they will rebel. Children will do the reverse of when bossed from parents, to tease you and feel independent. Treat them as one more person and not your property.

Create an atmosphere to grow and don’t bring up the way you want them to be. A flower blooms when it gets the necessary environment to blossom. Handling it at your best is the gift we can give to children and protect them from bad influences around society.

First published here.

Image credit- AlemCoska

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