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Love and pamper your daughter, but not so much that she grows up expecting to depend on others all her life - how can that be your love?
Love and pamper your daughter, but not so much that she grows up expecting to depend on others all her life – how can that be your love?
We all have come across the term ‘Papa ki Pari’, which means ‘daddy’s girl’. We have seen and witnessed many girls who are overly protected and taken care of by their families. They ask for 100 bucks and get 200.
But, this notion of so called ‘princess treatment’ has become a villain in their path to independence.
These girls develop a sense of codependency and start believing that their life is incomplete without a man. Be it their father, brother, boyfriend, or husband. They expect and always crave for a man’s support and attention in their lives.
They will rarely be using public transport such as a local train or bus (there’s a car for their wishes!) or go shop at a local flea market, or even pay their own share on a date, because of their expectation to be treated like a princess.
But this is not their fault, it’s the fault of their families who believe in the notion of pampering their daughters so much that they don’t really get a reality check in life. If they face any problem, they are immediately told to quit and be in their comfort zone.
But this is not the same case with the sons. They might also be pampered but are given reality checks of life as it is believed that they are the ones who have to be the main bread owner and take care of their families.
Whereas the daughter is believed to live in a bubble of pseudo happiness where she will be married to a prince charming who will fulfil all her wishes the same way her father did.
The family must understand the importance of making their daughters independent. They must make sure that the daughter understands the value of being on her own. Managing her pocket money/salary or accepting a rejection must be experienced by her so that she can be more mature and value the things, life has given her.
Image source: a still from the film Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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