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Children being beaten at school may have stopped but what about the same at home? Is it necessary to beat children to correct them?
Yes, we have spoken a lot about a child being abused in school but have we stopped that at home? Well, we think it is our right to do that, because we gave birth to them and we justify it by saying it’s for their own good.
But think! Is it necessary to do that to correct them for their mistakes or whatever is the reason? We as adults make mistakes too and get away by hiding it. If we compare our mistakes with theirs, which is bigger?
Just because we are old enough and have the strength to fight back, we do not get beaten. Kids are fragile, they can easily forgive and forget, you are confident that no matter what you do, they will love you back. Is this fair for your child? We often justify saying that we do not want our kids to be spoilt.
Here too, we are using a shortcut to improve our child. But in the long run, the outcome may not be as pleasing as you desired it to be.
The child may resort to lying to escape from your torture. You will again beat him. But will this process stop? You have simply instilled fear in the child for lying. Now, think about yourself. Do you always speak the truth? Do we lie to the child as a parent?
We can explain to the child the consequences of lying without emotionally or physically abusing them. They are too naive to understand your reason for beating them.
Children are good observers. They observe everything you do and learn from there, rather than what you preach. I feel the easiest way to teach a child is with love and kindness. Hostility can create aggression in your child. This might have a bad effect later when they think of their childhood.
The statistics of UNICEF indicate that most of the children are abused between ages of 5 and 11. We often assume they forget everything, but that is not true. They remember everything which is why kids act sincerely in front of their parents and in school they are notorious as schools have stopped punishing them.
We justify this too by saying we are teaching him to be disciplined. If we as parents don’t teach them who will? This is how it is justified. Imagine yourself being abused in public or in front of your guest. Just because they are small in size, doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t feel embarrassed.
Their mind gets diverted soon when they start playing but they never forget that particular moment their entire life. Definitely, few parents will not agree to this and say that is how they learn. Realise it soon or your child will find a way to escape from you and prefer to stay away when they are adults.
You need to understand what a child wants and not what you want from your child. Often it is seen that a boy child is mocked at for his willingness to play with dolls saying this is not the right choice. They are taught that they can’t feel shy because it’s feminine.
Parents even resort to beating and screaming to change the interest of the child. Every individual is different. They will do what they want to. Don’t judge them for doing things of their interest. Your child will definitely change for you but will not be satisfied and happy within.
Do not take stress and pressure to the child in any field – be it sports or academics. They cannot be good at everything. For example, a girl child is good at singing but her mother wants her to dance. Is this necessary?
The reason probably is that the mother wanted to dance when she was young. Isn’t it irrelevant? We need to identify with the interest of the child and let them do what they want.
Why are we taking all the decisions for them? Kids are smart and they know what they want. We can just guide them to explore and identify with their interest.
Picture credits: Still from Bollywood movies Taare Zameen Par
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