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All Your Firsts That I Have Missed!

Posted: October 6, 2020

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Juggling between motherhood and her career, a woman regrets missing out on important milestones in her child’s life due to her work.

My Sunshine,

Do you know,
When mothers share proudly all around,
The pleasure in the firsts of their child that they’ve found.
Which they treasure affectionately,
In their heart,
All the firsts from the very start.
My heart skips a beat,
At ease, I am unable to sit.
The guilt of not being there,
Sometimes not even being aware,
Of each of your firsts,
Which I missed just.
Makes me restless,
Feeling that all those mothers who got to witness this closely,
Are surely blessed.

I miss all those firsts,
When I was not the first,
To see the progress you made,
To see you taking your first step,
You will never know… for it
How much I have wept.

When a tiny you,
I left at home under other’s care,
My heart knew no calm, anywhere.
Out for work, I stepped though,
Thoughts of leaving you,
Made me low.
Every call when I made to ask about you,
It felt like a big blow out of blue.
I sobbed and escalated between,
Being a Mother and Me.

I miss not being the first one to hear you talk,
Not being there when you took your first step to walk.
How I had wished to stay,
On the first day of your pre school, the whole day.
But I was never in a position to do what  my heart wished…
And my heart knows well,
How much all these I have missed!

Many a times on the verge of giving up on my dreams,
Of relishing motherhood to the brim,
I thought of leaving  behind everything,
But the mother in me had been stronger than me,
Who won the fight by reasoning and making me see,
That I owe a wonderful life to you,
And for seeing that you don’t miss on something,
I will have to miss… many things.

My child, I just want you to know,
That though, I might have missed some of your firsts,
But I have not missed,
Being the first one,
Who loves you the most!

Your Mumma.


Picture Credits: Pixabay

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A teacher,blogger, poet and a mother.

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