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My First Realization Of Pain As A Mother

Posted: August 26, 2020

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Motherhood is a lifetime of bitter-sweet memories, where experiences are etched with limitless affection.  

It was 15th October 2016, 6.15 pm, I was lying on the bed in operation theater waiting for the C-section to end and doctor giving me good news. I was semi conscious, lower part of the body was numb due to anesthesia and doctors were telling me to take deep breathe and keep patience for the arrival of my little one.

Arrival of my twins

One doctor came to me and gave me the news ” Congratulations, its a boy” , tears fell from my eyes not because of pain but those were tears of happiness and joy, but the C- section was not yet over. I was carrying twins in my womb and was eagerly waiting for my second little munchkin.

Again doctor came to me and this time he told me ” Congrats aapka dusra baby bhi aa gya iss duniya mein. In my subconsciousness I asked him, ” Kya hua hai doctor.” He told,” Its a girl.” Again I could not hold my tears, though the full body was in pain but the tears were of bliss and exhilaration.

The next three days after the C- section were too painful but along with the pain there was merriment of being a mother for the first time to “a boy” and “a girl.”

Emotional pains for a “new” mother

During the C-section I felt the pain in my body but during the first vaccination of my kiddos, I felt the pain in my heart.
The day before first vaccination hauled so many questions in mind. While taking appointment for the vaccination doctor asked for the type of vaccination – painful or non-painful vaccination. In the Painful one the baby will have pain and high fever with less vaccination charges and in the Non- Painful one the baby will have less pain and mild fever but the charges of vaccination will be double compare to the previous one.

The vaccination and pain of two kids at the same time is not easy for a mother, both mentally and physically, so I opted for the non- painful vaccination but still the pain of injecting my little ones was seaming in my body and mind. My mother accompanied me to the doctor for vaccination of my babies.

Doctor checked the weight and height of Aarav and told me to hold him tightly for vaccination. The thought of my small baby in pain tickled me but the necessity to keep him safe was more important. Aarav was crying and along with him I was also crying in pain and once it was done my mother took him outside the room. But it was not an end of pain for me as I have to bear the pain of seeing my another kid getting vaccine.
Aahana was crying and I could not resist myself and started crying. Doctor called my mother to hold Aahana and told me to go outside with Aarav.
Both the kids were crying in pain and me and my mother were holding them tightly to give them some comfort.

How motherhood is bitter-sweet

After reaching home they drank some milk and slept but due to the effect of vaccine they had mild fever. That night both me and my mom sat keeping them in our lap. At that day I realized the happiness and pain of being a mother. After becoming a mother your happiness roams around your kids. If your kids are happy, you are happy. If your kids are in pain, you can feel that pain in your veins.
Everybody used to tell me and even now also many people tell me, “Twins ho gye woh bhi ek ladka ek ladki, acha hai tum toh ek baar mein hi free ho gyi.”
But this is not the case, along with happiness, responsibilities, 24 x 7 exertion, stress and worries also increases. Its never easy to be a mother and this I realized after becoming a mother. So hats off and ode to all the mothers.

Image source: Pexels

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I am a homemaker, blogger, loves dancing, doodling and wanna enjoy life to the fullest

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