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The title itself says a lot. What do you think? Is this true? Especially for middle class women in India? I'd like to know.
The title itself says a lot. What do you think? Is this true? Especially for middle class women in India? I’d like to know.
I got married when I was 22.5 years old. I really didn’t have enough maturity at that point to handle a married relationship. I always wanted a person who would care for me love me, understand my needs, and of course like every other woman I know, I love surprises.
It’s been 7 years since we got married. My husband is 6 years elder to me. He has seen a lot more of life as he has been to 6 different countries before we got married.
We had different goals. I wanted to shop, he wanted to save… his perspective was totally different.
A few things which could have been solved with some basic communication didn’t happen, because he wanted me to understand his side, and I wanted him to understand my side… by default. Because it was expected in a married relationship, apparently. (telepathy, anyone?!)
Life becomes so mechanical sometimes. But then if your life is not mechanical, routine, you are not in the right path.
We’ve had several issues, several big fights. We stay under the same roof, but never speak most of the days. It’s like… “deal with this on your own” kind of shit.
Slowly we started missing being close, missing a husband wife bond. Just going on with – get up, cook, pack your box, leave… come back and sleep.
Every time I feel bad about my life, I always think that there are worse situations people face out there, and for that time, I feel a bit better.
I wanted to convey to my husband: Talk to me. Let’s eat together. Let’s go out for dinner at least once a month. Let’s go for a small vacation at least for 2 days once in 6 months.
I could never tell him. And whenever I tried, it led into some other discussion. So, I kind of left everything as it is. Like right now I’m living with zero expectations from him. Some day, even if he says, Sravya I love you, or really talks with me, it makes me feel happy.
I wish there really is something like telepathy, and that he could understand what is going on in my mind. Because I really don’t wanna get into another discussion with him which will increase the distance between us.
I really want to know what is in his mind. Maybe even he has his set of goals to be achieved.
I feel that once you get married, you buy a car / buy a house / have a baby… and then the rest of life is just pay all the loans, take care of others. This is what happens in every middle class life. I see my parents who’ve led the same life, and then repenting that they should have traveled when younger.
I really wish people understand the importance of communication, and the feelings of a person, and act accordingly.
Image source: a still from the film Lunchbox
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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