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A Life Partner Is Not A Shopping List You Can Ask A Third Person To Assemble For You

Posted: August 31, 2020

At the onset, I have just one question: Where does love feature in a quest to find a match?

I am aware of the recent dramatics surrounding the ‘Indian matchmaking’ show on Netflix and after seeing an episode and a half, I find it a futile waste of time.

The old world charm of finding someone that you are compatible with…of wanting to be with them at every chance one got, of leaving work early just so you could share a plate of pakodas and chai at the local street dhaba… where did all that go?

Everyone is busy doing something or maybe nothing. But, if it’s important to you, you always find a way to make time. A life partner is not a tailor made shopping list that you can give to a third person to assimilate for you. A third person who will be a professional and visit you to see your standard of living and socialising. Really? Is this what will constitute a perfect match?

I am guilty of being a messy person. I find peace in my clutter.. On the other hand, my husband has an OCD about cleanliness. In fact, the sweetheart that he is, instead of picking up a fight, he will try and assemble as much as he can in our room. If Sima Aunty or Simi Bhabhi were to ask me my list and compare it with his, there would be no way on earth she would pitch us with each other.

I’m outgoing, he is an introvert. I dislike shopping, he enjoys it occasionally. I love mush and romance, he enjoys action and horror. And our lists go on. We are as opposite as it can be and what really worked for us, was the fact that we were ready to indulge each other for our quirks and pick the ones that worked best.

The over the top hospitality shown to the Indian Matchmaker is a display of bribery in a way, is it not? Elite matrimony for the elite class. Are we perhaps headed towards a caste system yet again? I’ve heard matchmakers ask blatantly, how much are you willing to pay? I will take from both sides… and if it works out, make it double.

In the end, there is no conversation about love, about companionship.. for there is no price you can ever put on emotions. Sometimes we need someone to help us meet a suitable boy…but to add the material ladder of travel, gifts, jewellery etc.. It leaves a very sour taste.

Photo by Kumar Saurabh from Pexels

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Pooja Poddar Marwah is an Indian author and blogger. (October 22,1978) Her foray into

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