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By Taking You For Granted And Two Other Ways I Learnt People Might Harm Your Mental Health

Posted: August 26, 2020

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A lot of people aren’t even aware there is a problem with them emotionally. This is mostly because we live in a society that always puts self care last.

There is nothing that a hot chocolate cannot fix. Following this wisdom, I headed to the nearest cafe after I had an emotionally unpleasant exchange one day.

There are experiences that lay dormant but come to the fore when faced with a single exchange with someone. I believe that bottled up emotions can create a lot of havoc in one’s mind.

So I sat down to journal my findings on emotional health while soothing my soul by sipping a warm chocolate latte that seemed to just calm the tense emotions.

Here is my journal.

A number of people aren’t even aware there is a problem with them emotionally. This is mostly because we live in a society that always puts self care last. Cracking unfriendly or belittling jokes are often termed ‘normal,’ especially if done by someone close.

Taking offence when people hurt the sensitive hues of the soul is deemed immature. Thirdly, the society consists of people who would never appreciate your efforts, do whatever you might.

As the saying goes ‘You might be the juiciest peach in the world, but there will always be someone who dislikes peaches.’ Lastly and the most toxic is that most humans in order to cover up their incompetence resort to blaming. Things like these and many others are a part of a human’s experience. I have not yet met anyone who is free from such behaviour.

Very recently, I met a friend who had just come out from depression and saw some signs of danger lurking in our emotional health. The discussion I had with her was so eye opening, it took me a lot of time to actually process it. Here is what I learnt from her fight with depression.

People will take you for granted

No matter how much of yourself you give to someone, people will take you for granted. I would not say it’s normal human nature, because it is not! But the more you are available to people, the more you prioritise them the lesser they would value you.

People are caught up in such relations with friends, partners, or even relatives for a very long time. Or until one starts feeling extremely invisible and develops a lower self esteem. When one is always available to help, to listen, to forgive, people take them for granted. No one understands that people who give time to you, make time for you.

Interestingly, very recently, I was feeling a little stressed out and wanted to have a heart to heart discussion with someone. But I did not find a single person who was free to listen. I had deemed this normal that people might be busy, but somehow my heart refused to believe the lie.

I read a blog by Holly Branson on how her father Sir Richard Branson always found the time for them. He answered her phone call while he was in the middle of a large show. This made me believe that my heart’s whispers were right. If you are important to them, they will make time for you.

People want you to do well but not better than them

This might seem quite unbelievable but it is true. The most surprising part is that these people are the ones who are close to you. Siblings, relatives, friends included.

It is heart breaking when you realise this but it’s better to have the face off,  rather than heartless and meaningless relations. My friend realised her sibling had been distancing her because she could not get over the envy that meeting my friend brought to her.

Favouritism exists

Favouritism is something I have always observed in all places I have been in. In school there was always a teachers pet. And in office there’s always someone who gains all the credit because the credit giver likes their face. In my friend’s heart breaking case, it was a parent who favoured her brother over her. No matter how much she tried she was never appreciated.

Favouritism does not make the person ignored in any way. It is important to understand this, because if you don’t you tend to believe you are less and develop a low self esteem. And it is important to understand that people who you think need to be pleased will always find something wrong with you.

The ones who want to find fault in you will find ways to show you how and where you lack. If people don’t acknowledge who you are and your qualities, you don’t need to believe you lack in something.

My friend’s words kept ringing in my ears as I sipped in my latte and penned down my thoughts. I realised people like these are a part of our lives.

It shocked me when I could place a name to the behaviour. The names of the relationship might be different but they are there. It is important that we guard our emotional health and not believe in the belittling lies that toxic people make us believe.

My friend kept bottling up her feelings, adjusting, and understanding while completely not taking care to love herself. She had to go through numerous sessions of consultation and therapies to reach a state where she felt like herself again.

Love yourself without compromise and do not take anyone’s belittling toxic behaviour. Make the needed changes today to keep your emotional health in good shape.

Picture credits: YouTube

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A Social Media Content Writer by profession. A writer by heart. A genuine foodie. Simple

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