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Do you know what the perfect recipe for loneliness is? For me, it is being queer and lonely during corona times while hoping to meet someone soon!
I do not know how better to say this. This lockdown is affecting me in more ways than you can imagine. I have been feeling lonelier than usual, unable to step out of home, and strangely ‘queer.‘ What does that mean, strangely queer, you ask?
Oh well, I am queer alright. This strange feeling of being unable to attend the pride parade this year, this inability to find a date, and date someone even eight months since my last breakup, are the reasons that make me feel weird.
Like a lot of lesbians and bisexual women, I took a very long time before I could come to terms with my sexuality. Even more of it, before I came out of my closet.
However, I was finally becoming content. I had friends, I had a community, albeit small. And I could grab a coffee once in a blue moon. I had some allies for colleagues. But here I am now, locked in my home for the last 100 days. I mean, seriously!
This loneliness is what took me to online dating apps. The trouble there is that most of them are designed for cis-hetero people. They are either non-inclusive of us queer folks, or they add the LGBTQIA+ segments in different drop-downs, only as an afterthought. Seriously, that’s just disappointing!
It was surprising that Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, OkCupid, TrulyMadly, Badoo, are ALL designed primarily for cis-hetero couples. There is of course Grindr, but it has more of gay/bi men focus. Perhaps some trans people too.
The only lesbian dating apps that existed were international ones, like Zoe, or Her. Well, another disappointment, Rhea! That’s what I told myself.
It was with a bit of discernment that I discovered a rare gem. Indigenous, LGBTQ dating app called AYA (As You Are). But even there, the community is small, though it seems very safe and discreet without being secretive.
I did connect with one person, but even an app can’t remove the barriers of the lockdown, can it? As I talk to this girl, I hope I can meet her someday soon and then maybe take it to the next level.
But I also wonder if this is why we say, ‘we might all be facing the same storm, are not in the same boats.’ Perhaps, my boat is just lonelier than yours!
Picture credits: Still from Bollywood movie Ek Ladki Ko Dekha Toh Aisa Laga
As recently out of the closet queer woman, I am still trying to find a voice which is public enough, without creating discomfort for anyone else around me. Quite late have I found my voice, read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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