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If kids do well, credit goes to both parents but the moment they do anything wrong only mothers are blamed. I mean why? Let's mothers be themselves!
If kids do well, credit goes to both parents but the moment they do anything wrong only mothers are blamed. I mean why? Let’s mothers be themselves!
Yes, I have slogged in the corporate world before having a baby. Then I decided to take a break and became a full-time mommy. And the journey of being a mom for the last 7 years has been the toughest job I have done in my life. It’s a never-ending job where you are judged more and not even paid.
And yes living up to the expectations is not easy at all. If kids do well, credit goes to both parents but the moment they do anything wrong only mothers are blamed. I mean why?
In our country, this has always been the norm. But I try to keep a balance so that neither my kids take anything for granted nor my husband should think that it’s only my job to raise the kids. We are partners and whatever good or bad they do, we both should be responsible.
As a mother, I face much competition from other mommies, yes in sports, arts, exam and whatnot. So I try my level best not to force my kid for anything. I convince her and she agrees. Not all the time though. I make her participate in all the competitions sometimes she wins and sometimes loose. Earlier she used to cry but now she understands that everyone is trying their 100 per cent to win.
I always try my girl is dressed up well for all the occasion or her stage performances. No matter how tired I am I make sure she looks her best. I know many times I forget to dress up and have landed many places in my pyjamas but doesn’t make any difference to me.
When my child performs her best in dance, talks or rhymes or any competitive exams, I feel I it’s my competition as well. I also win with her. I think most moms are like that. It’s not intentional it just happens I guess.
Sometimes even when I have to fight for my kid I am always there. But I make sure she sorts her problem first. If she is not able to handle that’s when I enter and make sure to know the real reason and the react or take action accordingly.
I have made my daughter self-dependent to fight her fight. That’s how we have to raise our daughters. To be strong enough and learn from their wins and losses. I may be strict sometimes but it’s for their betterment only. That’s how I try my best. Share your thoughts and experience too.Bani Dey John – former Assistant editor with India Today, now a wife and mother of two beautiful girls.
Picture credits – Nil Battey Saanata
Women blogger, crazy mom, parenting guide book, love to travel and foodie by heart read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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