An Ordinary Story Of A Doctor Who Showed Extraordinary Courage While Frozen In Fear

Mountains are a common passion my husband and I share. But during a trek, I had the scare of my life. This is a story of the courage, I never knew I had!

“Life is ephemeral and we owe ourselves to live each moment of it. Challenge yourself and don’t give in when you’re down and out. Even when you’re lonely, you’re never alone, for it’s the unconquerable spirit that will see you through. ”

This is an ordinary story of extraordinary courage which I never knew I had. A frail girl who happened to be a doctor was pushed to her limits and ended up saving her husband from severe AMS (acute mountain sickness)

But thinking about it still gives me shivers.

Our shared love for mountains had us fall in love too

Gautam, my husband and I both love mountains and adventure. Love was bound to happen and soon we were married. He planned to do Satopanth Lake trek (4600 meters above sea level) in Uttarakhand. But for years, he couldn’t and I believe destiny planned for us to take this journey together. What fascinated him was the spiritual aspect of those Himalayan crags.

Just ahead of the lake lies the Swargarohini glacier. According to Hindu mythology, this was where, Yudhisthira had climbed the stairway to heaven thousands of years ago. Perhaps for some, the legend was hogwash but we knew that if we tune ourselves to it, the universe will reveal itself.

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It was a sunny day in June 2017 when the journey began from the hot plains of Gurgaon and we reached Rudraprayag on day one. Next day we reached Badrinath and stayed overnight in Badrinath. Hot humid weather was replaced by cool breeze and gentle chill. We did an evening hike to Charan Paduka for acclimatisation.

As we watched the moonlight filtering through our tent, we held each other’s hands. We thanked the Gods for what was unfolding and the solace we found in the mountains.

On day two, our destination was Chakrateertha, which lies at 4,390 meters above sea level. We met some wandering ascetics on the way who were walking barefoot and hardly wore any clothes.

They would meditate and live in caves braving harsh winters with bare minimal food. It intrigued us to know that as humans, we had unlimited will and spiritual dimensions of our consciousness were manifold. The many sages who lived in the Himalayas were testimony of that.

After around six to seven hours of trek and adequate rest in between, we reached our campsite. We ate rice and daal and sat by the narrow stream with our feet dipped in the icy waters.

The mighty peak, Chaukhamba towered above us and Swargarohini glacier stood tall in the background. And it reminded me that something inside us changes in the mountains. I looked at Gautam’s face and it was resplendent albeit a little tired from the trek. Here, I felt like telling him how much he meant to me but the grandeur of the mountains took my thoughts somewhere else.

But that wasn’t going to last!

Little did I know that it was the last time I would sit with carefree abandon and glee. Soon, the weather took a U-turn and the short-lived crisp sunshine gave in to gusty winds and light snow. It was a mesmerising feeling as the snowflakes brushed past our faces.

Shortly after, we rushed to our tents to secure them properly. With a fervent hope for the weather to improve the next day for our trek, we sat curled up in our sleeping bags dreaming about the Satopanth Lake and this journey.

I checked Gautam’s saturation and it was well above 85. He felt good, other than a minor headache, which resolved after drinking water. I kissed him and set alarm for midnight to see the Milky Way and do some night photography. As I was doing this trek immediately after my basic mountaineering course (BMC) I was acclimatised well and felt mentally and physically strong.

Death seems to come knocking…

Suddenly at around 10 pm, I was woken by the sound of Gautam coughing. I sensed something was not right. He was breathing heavily and the headache had returned.

I dreaded the moment knowing that AMS had started to set in. His saturation had now dropped to 79 and it sent alarm bells ringing in my mind. I gave him Diamox fully knowing it won’t be effective now. And I grew restless knowing I didn’t have any oxygen with me.

One thing was certain that we could not trek any further up but I was hoping if his situation improved, we could descend in the morning. The rule of mountaineering, which I had learned in my mountaineering course came rushing – descend descend descend. I made him sit up and kept checking his saturation frantically, all the while trying not to lose my nerve. His heart rate had increased. Few crepitation and he was turning groggy.

In mere forty minutes, his saturation had suddenly plummeted to 55. I was dazed. As I gave him a dexamethasone injection, I roared at my porter to start preparing for the descent come what may. As my guide crawled out of his tent rubbing sleep from his eyes, I rushed to other camps hoping to find oxygen. Fate ruled against me. I was literally screaming as tears welled up in my eyes, hoping for a miracle.

I was frozen in fear now, but I had to do something!

In that moment of desperation, I looked at the night sky and the Milky Way in full bloom with a crescent moon rising above the Swargarohini glacier. I could not believe the spectacle, which was unfolding in front of me. And I felt my reality shifting and I struggled to understand what was real. Suddenly a gust of wind shook me back to reality.

I was in a dire situation, I had treated many people in hospitals and on expeditions. But here I was as a wife, doctor and a mountaineer scampering in my heart to find courage from recesses of fear, which had frozen me.

I implored and prayed to the mountain gods to give me strength for the harrowing night ahead. Soon we began our descent in the dark of the night. Before leaving I asked mountains for forgiveness and left a promise to get us down to safety. I can never articulate it all in words.

Walking on the razor’s edge with deep gorges on both sides, cold winds blowing past us, I was holding Gautam’s jacket lest he fell. Halfway down, I was completely exhausted and tears gave way to the indomitable spirit of a woman who was determined to chase away death.

All night descent to escape death

As a doctor, I knew my husband had symptoms of HACE (High altitude cerebral oedema) and HAPE (high altitude pulmonary oedema). I knew how fatal that could be. Few hours down, he felt slightly better and we stopped to have black tea at a campsite in the dead of night.

It was around 1 am. I was zonked. Gautam fell asleep on top of his trekking pole and I remember staring blankly at his pale face.

I took out my phone to click a picture. If we survive the night, it would be a story and if not, I would have a memory for life. Soon, we resumed walking.

Around eight hours had passed since we had begun descending and the first glimpse of sunshine gave me hope. Something whispered that although death is inevitable, this was not the day.

Soon we reached Mana village after 32 kms of trekking through day and night situated at around 3,200 meters. By now, Gautam was feeling much better though not perfectly fine. I saw a temple of a mountain goddess and cried my heart out and thanked the divinity.

I was exhausted and relieved and all I wanted to do was cry

Then, I clicked a selfie and took a long glance back at the majestic mountains we had descended all night. And I had nothing but awe and reverence in my heart. I thanked my porter without whom I would have been lost that night amidst boulders, loose rock and scree.

We drove back to Joshimath and stayed overnight there to rest, recover and reflect on what all had transpired in the last 24 hrs. I was exhausted and relieved and slept like a log hugging Gautam as tightly as possible.

So much had happened and I still had my husband breathing beside me. That was the deepest moment of profoundest love. We had escaped Death by a narrow margin and it was only when I burst into tears did I realize the gravity of the night.

Even when the night was deep and I was weak, my frozen courage pulled us through. Next thing I remember was me crashing on bed and Gautam holding my hand and staring at me. It was only then that he could understand what had transpired.

And as I drifted off to sleep, I heard him whisper…I bow down to the divine forces that guided us through the night. And I thank you, Varuna, for being more than a doctor, a wife, a trek mate and blessing me with a new birth. May I live up to it.

That night was one we will never forget for the lessons it taught us

The night proved to be much more an adventure that I ever sought, but the lessons will forever be etched in my mind due to the exemplary courage I inherited from the mountains around us.

Life happens in a heartbeat. One day we are sipping coffee and the next day, we’re gone. But it’s only the harshest of times when our spirit and emotions are tested do we realize our grit and strength.

What I have learned from mountains is that sometimes the time is not right for you. You should accept that truth with humility and wait till the time is right. I was so close to Satopanth Tal and exploring the Swargarohini glacier, yet so far away. Mountains are always there but your loved ones may not be.

I’m glad the Doctor, Mountaineer and Soulmate in me took the right choice. Now, I cannot imagine myself going to Satopanth Tal without Gautam though whenever we plan, it gives me jitters and shivers. And that resplendent Milky Way is the most treasured memory apart from saving Gautam, which I would always cherish.

Life is ephemeral and we owe ourselves to live each moment of it. Challenge yourself and don’t give in when you’re down and out. Even when you’re lonely, you’re never alone, for it’s the unconquerable spirit that will see you through. There is nothing more adventurous than that.

We both have done many treks since that fateful night, but sometimes, I still look back and wonder.

Picture credits: The author provided the images

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