Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
Never tolerate sexism and objectification from your professors or employers, your abilities and talents invalidated because you're a girl, says this author.
Never tolerate sexism and objectification from your professors or employers, your abilities and talents invalidated because you’re a girl, says this author.
“Please shift to the backseat, I am happily married.” Our physics professor called out to my partner in the middle of a lecture. His face lit up with a scoff at his own below the belt joke while the rest of us hung our heads in shame. The shame of having heard something so blasphemous and being unable to help one of our own. And what was she insulted for? Wearing a sleeveless top and leggings.
When I narrate this incident, you might feel I’m referring to something from another era, in a conservative environment. Trust me, I’m not.
“That’s because you wore western outfits my dear. He doesn’t like girls in modern attire, so just wear salwar kameez, don’t argue, keep your head bowed when you speak to him and you will be fine. Also, make sure they don’t spot you getting close to a boy, they wouldn’t rest without a taunt.” Back in the hostel, our seniors remarked.
What was all that, we couldn’t believe our ears. Progressive India, in the twenty first century, and such out-dated views. But turned out, their advice came from experience.
I belonged to a particular branch of engineering which saw ninety percent admissions from boys and pretty less from girls. We were hardly four girls in our class and almost every day we were made to understand what huge misfits we were. Our male classmates were very cooperative, kind and encouraging. The jibes came from the very people who were meant to encourage us, some of our professors. There was this man who wouldn’t let go off a single opportunity to tell us how we had snatched a deserving boy’s seat thanks to the reservation for women in education.
When we got placed in the final year, we distributed the customary pedas to our professors and this particular person added a special comment with his congratulations. “Chalo, you people can do something more than your usual giggling and gossip.”
Ours is definitely not an isolated incident, we recently had a discussion on our Whatsapp group and somehow the conversation drifted to the challenges we faced during graduation and one of my friends happened to mention how, in spite of being eligible, a top officer at a reputed institution refused to take her group for project guidance because he preferred boys, he declared brazenly.
Coming to think of it, every individual responsible for this sexist behaviour was pretty well educated. They say education is the answer to many social issues, but certainly not for misogyny.
As I pen down this article today, I wonder why we never reacted. In place of complaining to the higher authority, we kept silent. Worse still, we never mentioned any of this to our parents, worried they would arrive in college and put up a fight. Perhaps we were a bit too young, worried about the repercussions, our marks, their wrath…
Often I’ve been tempted to shoot, “Tumhare ghar Beti nahi hai kya?” (don’t you have daughters?) on these peoples’ faces and I still wonder how they treat their daughters, but at least I know what I should be telling my daughter.
Never To Tolerate This Kind of Nonsense. Never Be Another Me.
Image source: YouTube
read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
It is shameful that in today's world too, women are abused and even killed for giving birth to a girl, and the infant's life is also of no value.
Trigger Warning: This deals with domestic violence, suicide, and violence against women, and may be triggering to survivors.
I am so glad that the esteemed courts are now giving the much-required verdicts regarding certain ideologies that were not at all entertained earlier. I mean we all have studied this much biology at our school level and it is our duty (our generation) to educate our elders about it.
Why someone have to lose a life to bring such awareness to the society. Delhi High Court gave this judgement concerning a case that filed by the deceased daughter’s parents against her in-laws. She committed suicide as she was harassed and tortured for dowry and giving birth to two daughters.
Please enter your email address