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There may be many problematic things in Thappad, but this is how most Indian girls have been conditioned, and the movie showcases unvarnished reality!
I warn you – don’t watch Thappad.
Don’t watch it because it brings out intimate partner violence out in the open.
Don’t watch it because it questions the deep-rooted patriarchy which is so ingrained in our minds that we don’t even see what is wrong with ‘bas ek thappad’.
Don’t watch it because it makes you realise that the patriarchy is not just ingrained in men, it has been justified by women for generations.
Don’t watch it because it makes you realise the entitled behaviour which the men have which makes them feel it is ok to treat a woman as their property.
Don’t watch it because it will trigger your thoughts on all that might be wrong around you too probably.
If you still have the guts, I dare you – watch Thappad. Because it delivers a tight slap on the face of chauvinism and bigotry.
*MAJOR SPOILERS ALERT
The movie starts with showing domestic violence being a norm in the home of the domestic help.
The chirpy domestic help who loves to dance to Dance India Dance is regularly subject to domestic violence but never leaves. Kyunki kahin usne gusse mein aa kar ghar ki kundi band kar li, toh mein kahan jaungi? (Because what if he locks her out in anger?)
How men abuse this dependency!
It proceeds to show a devoted housewife, Amruta (Taapsee Pannu), which could be anyone – you, me or your neighbour, who has quit her career to take care of her family. Right from waking her husband up in the morning to making tea just as he likes it to stuffing paratha into his mouth, she plays the part of good Indian housewife really well.
All is well till her husband Vikram delivers one tight slap across her face in a fit of stress-filled rage.
The reaction to this is stoic silence – ~ the father is deeply pained (the only one apparently).< br />~ The mother goes on to say ‘hota hai couples ke beech mein. Matured bache hain, solve kar lenge’. (Happens between couples. They are old enough, will solve it themselves.) ~ Mother-in-law goes on to pretend as if nothing has happened, and asks whether her son slept ok next morning (the fact that daughter-in-law didn’t is absolutely ignored). ~ The brother tries to tell her to deal with it. ~ And the husband? He is more concerned about ‘log kya soch rahe honge mere bare main’. (What must people be thinking about me?)
No one realises what the victim is going through – the hurt, the pain, the sleepless nights, the loss of respect for self, and the realisation how broken and one-sided her marriage is.
This one slap brings forward all the times when she has ignored her desires and given her husband and his family a priority. Years of hurt due to typical chauvinistic behaviour like him telling that she should first learn to make proper parathas before she learns driving, how she should understand what he is going through, how it is just ‘one slap’ and she should learn to move on, is opened up due to this one slap.
Thus starts the process of the victim standing up for herself. She goes on to file a divorce when her husband serves her legal notice to bring her home.
The best part of the movie is that it shows very realistic scenarios. This is how most girls have been brought up – to believe that ghar zyada zaroori hai aur aurat ko thoda sehna seekhna chahiye. (Women should adjust a bit, because the home is more important.) A woman is made out to be one bearing the burden of keeping the family together while the man can go on to behave like an entitled idiot who can react the way he wants to.
The parallel narratives show how women of different classes and different generations have given up on their dreams, careers, health, happiness, respect – just to keep the false notion of marriage together.
And as Taapsee puts it, the girl in college just wanted to be respected and happy. And not getting either makes her fall out of love.
Some feminists might go on to argue – that why is Taapsee’s character so meek and submissive? Why doesn’t she walk out the moment she is slapped? Why does she still return to take care of the mother-in-law – the same one who did not even asks her to come back to the party, moments after she was slapped? Why does she attend the Puja organised at home for the would-be grandchild (this one made me barf too)?
But the fact is this is how most Indian girls have been brought up, and societal conditioning is tough to change. We still value families and respect the elders – even at the cost of swallowing our own pride.
The scene where Taapse says that she will come back to visit after the puja but she will never forgive everyone for never asking how she was had me crying buckets.
With power-packed performances by each of the characters, this is one of the best movies made in recent times (and yes, it is better than Shubh Mangal Zyaada Savdhaan. And no, she is not the lady Ayushman Khurana).
Take a bow Anubhav Sinha and Taapsee Pannu. You just raised the bar way up high!
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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