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With its shiny new cover, patriarchy still lingers in the society. It just comes in the garb of 'progressiveness,' and makes you wonder if all your efforts were in vain.
With its shiny new cover, patriarchy still lingers in the society. It just comes in the garb of ‘progressiveness,’ and makes you wonder if all your efforts were in vain.
Gone are the days when we would put the TV on mute during a commercial break. Because commercials are every where now. Halfway through your song, every now and then during a video and half the time on TV. The way they are made has changed drastically too. Progressiveness(?) has crept in here.
In one of the many path-breaking ads, the bahu initially wears a short dress to attend a family gathering. And her husband asks her if she would be “dressed like that.” So, she then puts on pants, a coat and wraps around a scarf. Her shocked in-laws ask her if she would go “dressed like that” and ask her to be herself.
In another viral advertisement, the message is to stand by tough moms. They do so with the help of a tough patriarch FIL who shushes the women of the house, even when you have a husband who has zero respect for you.
Well, all this appears really progressive. This one and many others with the same intention. I don’t have a problem with in-laws being loving and progressive. But is this our idea of an ideal society now?
If the answer is yes, it’s disappointing. Because this is how it all started. This will just be round two of patriarchy. It will turn around again, after all the efforts and agony.
Even today we come across dowry deaths and female infanticide in our country. The root of all evil is the belief that the boy child is superior simply because he stays with his parents. And the girl is still considered paraya dhan. That is exactly why we go to lengths to have a boy child. They are the insurance, you see!
The system was started with good intentions. Women didn’t earn. And property was divided between sons and the daughters’ share was given during marriage. The daughter-in-law was supposed to be treated like a daughter, our own daughters were to be kept at a distance.
But we have progressed on that too. We can not have as many children, but cannot afford to have just girls either. So we took shortcuts and started killing the girls in other ways. It all boils down to the same thing- have a son. He will take care of you.
Does it have to hold true in this time and age? Is it a one way road where the girl leaves her parents and the boy is privileged to live with his parents?
Should the girl feel lucky that her in-laws are sweet? And if they are not, try to win over them with wit, charm and patience like every TV serial heroine? Should all the girls stop doing whatever they do and just pray that her in-laws’ would be sweet to her?
Progressiveness is not in the DIL or MIL or both wearing short skirts, the DIL drinking alongside her FIL or things like that. Progressiveness is accepting that both sets of parents need love and care. And that girls are actually equal to boys.
Picture credits: Still from Hindi TV series Yeh Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai
A mom who loves childhood, A woman who hopes for equality and a curious soul trying to find a meaning in everything read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
It is shameful that in today's world too, women are abused and even killed for giving birth to a girl, and the infant's life is also of no value.
Trigger Warning: This deals with domestic violence, suicide, and violence against women, and may be triggering to survivors.
I am so glad that the esteemed courts are now giving the much-required verdicts regarding certain ideologies that were not at all entertained earlier. I mean we all have studied this much biology at our school level and it is our duty (our generation) to educate our elders about it.
Why someone have to lose a life to bring such awareness to the society. Delhi High Court gave this judgement concerning a case that filed by the deceased daughter’s parents against her in-laws. She committed suicide as she was harassed and tortured for dowry and giving birth to two daughters.
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