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From someone who earned her own living to someone who depended on her husband for the smallest of things, this woman shares her thoughts.
Wouldn’t it hurt if you had to separate from your financial independence?
I was someone whose bank account was once filled with her own hard-earned money. And thus, transitioning into someone imploring another for a few bucks was unbearable. Be it for household expenses like the monthly groceries or getting my laptop repaired or take a cab or even to buy a hair-clip, asking my husband for money was utterly suffocating.
There were moments when I felt my ego and self-respect taking hits and my anger only flared. During a shopping visit, my husband bought me a kurti after several hushes and disagreements. Ultimately, he wanted me to get something of his choice since, it, of course, was his money. And I had to accept it with shame and some love.
Not having a say in choosing something I would be wearing seemed wrong. But it was fine. Somehow I did not find myself stopping the ‘shopping.’ Being the kind of person I am, I did find my feet walking towards the leggings section to get myself some leggings. All this before my husband finished the billing.
Once I got the leggings, I hurried over to him and handed my pick which he refused to bill and said, “I will get it for you the next time.” My face, at that moment, flushed a deep red in disgruntlement. Or maybe out of my fading self-respect.
And at that moment, a question arose in my mind, ‘Had I been working, would I have faced such a situation?’
Right from doing something for yourself to doing something for your parents or siblings, if you aren’t working, everything needs the husband’s ‘mercy.’ Only when he approves are you free to do what you want to. There is yet another pain- that of people not counting on you to check your availability to plan something out.
If I hadn’t tasted the perks of being an employed woman, I wouldn’t be writing this. I don’t really regret quitting my full-time IT job because it was a well-thought and well-planned decision. However, facing the bitterness of reality is like trying to swallow a handful of bitter-gourd.
A woman who isn’t working is considered to be an unpaid house-management staff whose only purpose is to serve the people. It is all about acting under other people’s orders and directions.
I know what it is like to have a mind of my own and chart out plans. Given that it is considered a sin for the rest and their consent is mandatory at any cost.
Any way, at the end of the day, when you aren’t working, you remain as that puppet of the house. And there is no motivation to keep you going.
Picture credits: Pexels
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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