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Relationships are more about independence than controlling your partner and respecting their choice. Why, then, are love and control made synonymous?
One has to go through a lot to be the person that one really is. Only then can one muster the strength and the ability to accept people as they really are. And to reach a point where approvals mean nothing or very less.
A point where one realises that they are the captain of their own boat and no one is privileged enough to ‘give’ them permissions. To realise they themselves are no one to give any adult a permission, is also an awakening.
It takes courage to go south when the world is going north. And it takes a strong person to realise that it is okay to be different. It takes an even stronger person to realise that it is okay to be with someone who is a helluva different than they are.
In relationships, one often sees insecurities, fear of the unknown. And a partner desperately trying to not expose the other person to things which might change them. Which in turn might result in a change in the equation of the marriage or relationship.
A few days ago, I read an article about a husband who manipulated his wife into having children and being so dependent on him that she couldn’t go out to work, neither could she have a career.
If a relationship doesn’t help you achieve goals, become a better person, fulfil ambitions, then that relationship is not one of equals. What’s happening there is one person is trying desperately to control and condition the other so that the power remains in their hands.
Being in a relationship should be for the person and not for the circumstances that the other person is in. The soul, the raw reality of the people, their free spirit and independence should be the reasons. And if these reasons scare someone, if the person tries to control these things in their partner, then it is not a relationship of equals. At such times, the person only cares about the circumstances rather than their partner.
There are several men who are scared of even imagining their wives going out to work. Why do ambitions, dreams and independence scare so many of us?
Control and love are made to seem synonymous in relationships, why? Two people can be madly, crazily and eternally in love without trying to exert an iota of control over each other.
This requires confidence, equality and strength of character. It requires another level of consciousness where love is more important than control. A place where respect for human beings is more important than being dominant, where true relationships matter more than prerequisites.
Let’s have the strength to be true to ourselves and to the person we are with. For its the person that lives and breathes and becomes an integral part of us, not the circumstances or the conditioning.
Picture credits: YouTube
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