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My Happiness Is Empty

Posted: October 11, 2019

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“Why?”

“My happiness is empty”, she replied plainly

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Imagine that you are on a roller coaster. You are loving the thrill. You always wanted to experience that tingling sensation in your stomach. But, you don’t know when the ride is going to end or where is it going to stop. It may drop you in the air or land you back safely on the ground. You have no idea of that. Would you still wish to continue enjoying that thrill?”

“Well, No…”, he answered.

“Exactly, dear. One can only enjoy the journey if one knows what to expect at the destination.”, she smiled faintly and sipped her ginger tea.

The two friends sat silently gazing the dancing starlight on the water in the pool. That is the thing about 24-hour open cafés. They are made for deep conversations that lead to no conclusions.

“I think it does not matter what is at the end of the journey. If I muse about the destination, I am not living in the present.”, he said stirring his coffee.

“But, if the destination is not lucrative to you why would you even care to embark on that voyage?”, she asked promptly

“Because I do not want my anxiety of tomorrow to kill my today.”

“What if your anxiety can save your tomorrow?”

“Maybe. But, I am happy. I was promoted last week. I travel for adventure. I have a corner office overlooking a fountain surrounded by a lotus pond in a garden. My parents are worried about my wedding, but I am handling it well. You won’t disagree that life will always have problems. It is never going to be perfect.” he leaned back on the chair.

“Indeed, it is never going to be perfect. But, whether you face your challenges with eagerness or escape from those is determined by the purpose of your being. If you derive your reason to live from the happiness you experience, your approach is not sustainable. Your sources of happiness are external. Your promotion, travel experiences, office infrastructure, etc. They may vanish with time and when they do, you will be left hollow. The reason of your being should be the source of your happiness. Your joys should steam from you.

“Hmm… true”

“Do you remember how badly you wanted that promotion last year? You connected every happy event in your life to that misery. Instead, if you would have loved the impact that your work is making in the world, this stupid promotion would not have mattered.”

“I can’t agree more, dear.”, he sighed

She beamed at the darkness of the night. The cool breeze carried the nightingale’s song from the woods nearby.

“What if I never find the meaning of my existence?”, the fear was reflecting in her eyes

“You definitely will. Imagine the plight if this realization strikes us when we are 50.” He smirked

“Quite optimistic.”, she chuckled

“You will find it, my buddy. You wait, longing to hear words of reason, love or play to lash or lull you toward the hollow day. But, magically, your yearning never leaves YOU hollow… it only fills you with an abundance of the fulfilment of finding yourself…”

She grinned delightfully. After all, their rumination made their meetings so pleasing…

Image is a still from the movie Lootera

A voracious reader, A novice writer, An ardent promoter of energy efficiency.

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