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Dealing With Jealousy In Others And Within

Posted: October 23, 2019

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Hello everybody,
I am Jealousy

You deny possessing me,
but that’s a big fallacy

I attack your thoughts
and threaten your self-esteem.

Your wisdom fades away
and my authority stands supreme.

I convince you to not
pat someone else’s back

And you agree as you fear,
it might highlight what you lack

A huge amount of insecurity
is the source from where I stem

You pretend to belittle someone’s success
But inside, you aspire to be like them

I encourage you to tell them
what a big waste was their achievement

And when they explain how it’s untrue
You try to run away from the enlightenment

I block the lights of knowledge
from entering into your soul

You’re too weak to get rid of
all the emotions that I control

Are you Jealous? people ask
and all their allegations are denied

You ignorantly turn rude to them,
you’re overshadowed by arrogance and pride

With an evil hope inside me,
I let you worry of what other people do

And laugh out loud when I see
how freaking easy it was to destroy you!

~Khyati Tuli

Are you jealous too?

Nothing in this world feels worse than getting your dream car/job/life partner and then finding that people around you do not feel proud or positive about it, instead they feel jealous. Jealousy definitely destructs people’s thoughts and makes them look like a sick person. You feel like asking them “Are you jealous?” but what do they do that tells you that they’re jealous? Before knowing that, have you ever wondered why they do what they do?

Why do they make your hard work seem like it was a fluke?

Girl calling someone a looser

No matter what you succeed at or how much efforts had you put in, jealous jellies however will always try to bring you down and try to make it seem like it was not a big deal, or that you didn’t work as hard as you really did.
“People who envy you the most are the ones who are in need of most of what you possess”.- M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

  • Stay humble but firm in your achievements and politely ask “Are you jealous?”

Why do they bring up their success stories all of a sudden?

A guy bragging about himself

All that they can think of doing at the moment of your success announcement, is nothing but brag of their own achievements. They do not want to feel upset so doing this makes them feel better. They are the kind of people who will get engaged at your wedding!

  • Simply offer them sincere praise in their achievements. Being humble and nice is indeed a good way to alter someone’s behaviour.

Why do they patiently wait for your failures?

Two girls making fun of a guy

Jealous jellies privately and quietly waits for you to fail at something really trivial. It makes them feel good that you can make mistakes, especially at something which is very easy for them.

You can always remind them that making mistakes is a part of life. For instance – “Nobody got to learn everything since the time they were in their mother’s womb, in fact, you too once sat down somewhere and learnt what you know today” Filmy much? I know.

Why do they tell that your achievement is a big waste?

They do all the research, prepare excel sheets, draw bar charts and note down as many cons related to your achievements as possible. Furthermore, they would discourage you and tell how it was a bad idea or how it’s not gonna be much useful. They wanna make you feel like you worked hard for a piece of poop.

Two guys talking over coffee

While enjoying coffee, your jealous colleague might just hear you say that you were a topper in your college, or that you had once cleared a difficult exam. Without delay, the next thing they would probably do is tell you how sitting at the last bench, or how not toiling for an exam, has landed them at the same place as you are today. As can be seen, they probably have not been gifted with the wisdom to understand that “Knowledge is never wasted” and that what you’ve gained so far has made you do your work with ease, which they might be struggling at.

  • You should just empathize with them and not worsen their insecurities more.

And if at all I missed anything, then the last thing you might find them doing is hear them say “How things have been so unfair !”
Aaaaaawwww!

Guy making a poor face

I can certainly relate to how you collect your anger and work on a great number of facial muscles to produce that frown.

Girl frowning

Nevertheless, have you ever tried smiling by the way? This might just burn something up and that too without flexing many muscles of yours 🙂

But Hey! You’re at fault too!

You cannot control how others think or feel, sometimes you chose to term their reaction as jealousy.

If you’ve worked hard for days and nights for receiving appreciations and applause from people, it would have definitely accelerated and catalyzed your hard work. But if you’ve achieved something “only” for this and not really for your personal interest in self growth, then someone’s criticism is gonna affect you deep and your success is not gonna make you feel any better.

I know you may at times, tend to feel like confronting them, or just throw a brick at their face at least, but that’s really not the way to deal with someone who’s jealous. To deal with them is yet another art – The art of understanding!

You need to really understand the magnitude of their heavy thoughts. Each thought of this kind really hurts the person deep inside. You should understand its not their fault and in this state of being low they’re speaking bad about you.

When someone is saying or doing something which is not very right for you, but if you can create a thought for them which is a right
and pure thought, you are radiating purity. So, the best thing you could do is to stop justifying yourself. You are not here to prove anything to the world. Your constant desperation to explain the people around you about how amazing you are at things, is not really gonna take you anywhere in life.

Girl irritated with guy friends

The people you socialise with today, might be replaced by another group of people with the change of school, job, city or the upcoming phases of life. You wanna bombard your mind with thoughts like “why am I not being praised for my success ?”, for people who might not even be around you in some years and just end up being your phone buddies ?
Do you realize that in the process of doing that, how much you’ve held yourself back from achieving even more?

The truth doesn’t need to be proved, truth reveals itself.
The process might be gradual, just believe in yourself . 🙂

As important as it is to realize how jealousy can destroy you, its equally important to understand how to deal with someone jealous of you.
“The art of understanding”, sometimes tends to make it easier for

you to fix things in a productive manner and leaves you with a lot of positivity around and within yourself. 🙂

Spreading purity

Often accused by her friends that she's that curious bug (जिज्ञासु) who has to know

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