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Accept them for who they are which will allow you to ignore their opinions.
There are times when people are extremely disrespectful to you.
When they question your efforts and intent even though you have tried to explain that you are doing the best that you can. And it feels even more unpleasant when they are close to you.They genuinely believe that there is something wrong with you because you are not living the way they want you to. Maybe you are not working hard enough or maybe you give up too easily or maybe you are not serious about anything in life. You feel like you can make them change their thinking about you by talking to them or trying to use reason or even showing them the pain that they have caused you with their behaviour but it’s not going to work beyond a point. They may get convinced for some time but soon enough they will come back to hurt you even more because they are who they are and they don’t really want to change what they think about you because either it’s too painful/stressful for them to do so or it’s beyond them for now.The only thing that you can so at that point is to carry in what you are doing and let them day what they want to. It’s not easy but it’s necessary so that you can maintain your sanity.Shut them out of your life partially or completely if needed but do it so that you can focus on what needs to be done.
If they change their ways then good for them or else you need to keep them out of your space because allowing them back in is gonna hurt you even more.At the same time, it’s natural to get angry at them or even hate them but it will only end up hampering your progress. Which in turn will give them an even greater excuse to question your methods again.
Your hate for them will fuel their contempt for you and it will be a constant cycle of negativity which knows no end until one of you puts a stop to it. Forgive them and accept them for who they are, for your own sake and for your own happiness. It doesn’t matter whether they are wrong or right.
What matters is that you need to live your life the best way you can and accepting them will slowly kill the power that their opinions and actions have over you.
First published here.
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I huffed, puffed and panted up the hill, taking many rest breaks along the way. My calf muscles pained, my heart protested, and my breathing became heavy at one stage.
“Let’s turn back,” my husband remarked. We stood at the foot of Shravanbelagola – one of the most revered Jain pilgrimage centres. “We will not climb the hill,” he continued.
My husband and I were vacationing in Karnataka. It was the month of May, and even at the early hour of 8 am in the morning, the sun scorched our backs. After visiting Bangalore and Mysore, we had made a planned stop at this holy site in the Southern part of the state en route to Hosur. Even while planning our vacation, my husband was very excited at the prospect of visiting this place and the 18 m high statue of Lord Gometeshwara, considered one of the world’s tallest free-standing monolithic statues.
What we hadn’t bargained for was there would be 1001 granite steps that needed to be climbed to have a close-up view of this colossal magic three thousand feet above sea level on a hilltop. It would be an understatement to term it as an arduous climb.
Why is the Social Media trend of young mothers of boys captioning their parenting video “Dear future Daughter-in-Law, you are welcome” deeply problematic and disturbing to me as a young mother of a girl?
I have recently come across a trend on social media started by young mothers of boys who share videos where they teach their sons to be sensitive and understanding and also make them actively participate in household chores.
However, the problematic part of this trend is that such reels or videos are almost always captioned, “To my future daughter-in-law, you are welcome.” I know your intentions are positive, but I would like to point out how you are failing the very purpose you wanted to accomplish by captioning the videos like this.
I know you are hurt—perhaps by a domestic household that lacks empathy, by a partner who either is emotionally unavailable, is a man-child adding to your burden of parenting instead of sharing it, or who is simply backed by overprotective and abusive in-laws who do not understand the tiring journey of a working woman left without any rest as doing the household chores timely is her responsibility only.
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