In My 40s : Do I Love It Or Hate It?

Posted: September 10, 2019

Recently I was talking with someone who was deep in depression as she had turned 40. She felt that life was over.

It made me think how I feel being in the 40s.

This is an awesome phase of my life. I am finally comfortable in my mind and body. I am no longer interested in either impressing others or care what others think about me.

When I look back I feel that in the 20s…life, love, opportunities seemed limitless. We felt empowered entering the adulthood we dreamt of. Believing that we are going to leave a mark of our existence. We thought that, if this does not work out, there is so much more to be explored. We took big leaps believing in infinite faith in our capacity to bring about change. The years were turbulent as we wanted to control, people, situations and surroundings.

The thirst to leave an imprint on the world, gave the courage to do some unthinkable, daring feats. Some were successful while the others were not. The failures were the stepping stones to contemplation, self growth, the lessons of life.

The 30s were ‘adjusting’. We adjusted in careers, marriages, parenthood, society. These years also made us questions some of the ‘status quos’ as we bent backwards to make everything work. But the questions had started surfacing infrequently. About the meaning of life.

The 40s are a milestone. Even though touted as the new 20, it’s a wiser, matured, mellow and contemplative version of myself.

I look around at my friends and colleagues and marvel at the journey.
We have raised children, handled the complexities of matrimony (some resulting in divorces). We are no longer in a hurry and have learnt to let life take its course, while we still strive to give our best efforts.

The children have started becoming our guides to the newer world and sometimes we feel jaded while at other times ripe with life experiences. Sometimes life seems so close while at other times, slipping out of hands like sand at the beachfront.

The journey continues…

Image is a still from the movie Aaja Nachle

A practicing psychologist, writer and an avid gardener. Swati believes that for the inner person

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