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Over the years their dreams and aspirations have changed for their kids. They have not stopped dreaming but they are not chasing any dreams.
When my kids started school, I made this new friend who had the same perturbed look on her face every morning. There was a ritual that all we mothers had …a 10-minute group session after dropping the kids. She would ask everyone the same thing “What have you all put in their tiffin?”
Every day a quick dose of healthy recipes would be exchanged. Well, you know how energetic we all are to pack a tiffin when kids start school. Pity the excitement doesn’t last long. We all eventually ran out of recipes to share but her queries did not stop. So 10 years have passed …the kids are now hormonal teenagers and I happen to bump into this lady again. After the exchange of pleasantries, the conversation drifts to the kids obviously. And there it comes again “ What do they take in their tiffin?”. I am left wide-eyed and speechless as in the age they are in now I am happy that they still take tiffin and happier when they don’t as that gives me an extra half hour to sleep. Why is she still troubled by this I wonder? If she is worried about this then there would be a thousand little things that she is bothered by every day.
The other end of the spectrum is this socialite mom whose life is about parties, dressing up and living the good life as they say. She was never part of these tiffin conversations…in fact once when her cook left she asked everyone how to boil potatoes. She probably thought there is a scientific formula to be applied there. Planning the menu or seeing if kids are eating right was the least of her worries. Well over the years we made it our moral duty to inform her about the goings-on in school …after all, somebody had to do it. Recently when I met her she was all praise for how confident her kids were.
She did mention in a side note that the PTMs can be quite depressing after listening to the endless complaints. There is an art of ignorance which only a few posses and this one was a master at that. Next moment she would convince herself that her kids are fine and the parties would go on.
Now there is this set of friends which I have known for so many years. I have seen them worry about the little things and seen them tackle the bigger things. What is different is that they learnt to trivialise and prioritize. Over the years their dreams and aspirations have changed for their kids. They have not stopped dreaming but they are not chasing any dreams. With each passing year, they have left meaningless issues behind and taken the tougher ones head-on. With each passing year, they have grown with the children. These ones I wish to emulate …they are my heroes.
Image via Pixabay
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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