Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
A daughter in marriage, it seems, is never enough. She has to be accompanied by cash and gifts.
There are times when Bollywood truly hits the Bull’s Eye! I remember recently watching a Sonam Kapoor starrer movie ‘Dolly ki Doli’, based on the theme of Looteri Dulhan. Though I am not a fan of the theme of a cheating bride, the ample entertainment it provided as a piece of fiction kept me glued to my television set, and that was where I was struck by a gem of a line- ‘BETI DE DI, SAB KUCH DE DIYA’– a line the grandmother (Dadi) is seen repeating throughout the movie.
The truth as well as the irony of this statement in today’s day and age cannot be ignored. A daughter in marriage, it seems, is never enough. She has to be accompanied by cash and gifts, a societal pressure upon the bride’s family, a system long prevalent in our country, the system of ‘DOWRY’, the ‘DAHEJPRATHA’. Comprehensive criminal laws have been introduced in India which makes dowry a punishable offence. But sadly, it is a practice that has been impossible to eliminate from the roots. And even sadder is the fact that, the more prosperous the groom’s family, the more will be the demand for dowry… because that’s how their standing in the society will be seen. We wouldn’t want wagging tongues in the society now, would we? ‘Ladkiwaalon ne kuch bhi nhi diya. Gareeb ghar ki ladki le aaye!’
Let me say to these relatives who keep questioning the status of the bride over the dowry amount- Take one look at the father of the bride. A second before, he was the richest man in the world, for he had his daughter. And not a second later, as he sees his daughter depart to another household, he stands as the poorest man there can be. The void is not in his bank account, which may replenish soon, the void is in his heart. The place of his daughter, which can never be refilled. So, the next time you go to a wedding, please do not ask, ‘shaadi mein kya diya?’ Just take a look at her father, who will be standing in one corner with folded hands, a smile atop his poorly concealed tears, and know for a fact- ‘BETI DE DI, SAB KUCH DE DIYA’!
Image is a still from the movie Dolly Ki Doli
Hi! I am a Dr. Neha Joshi, a Public Health Dentist. I may be a dentist by profession, but my heart lies in social service. I wish to take initiatives for women empowerment and also read more...
This post has published with none or minimal editorial intervention. Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
The plight of Indian women's mental health often goes unnoticed. Co-founders Vivek Satya Mitram and Pooja Priyamvada conceived the idea of the Bharat Dialogues Women & Mental Health Summit to address this.
Trigger Warning: This contains descriptions of mental health trauma and suicide, and may be triggering for survivors.
Author’s note: The language and phraseology used are not the author’s words but the terms and narrative popularly used for people living with mental illnesses, and may feel non-inclusive. It is merely for putting our point across better.
I have seen how horrifying was the treatment given to those with mental illness.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
Please enter your email address