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I looked out of the bus window as I was on my way back from the music class. It had been a good evening…my ‘swaras‘ had been perfect and I had won a little appreciation from my teacher as well.
Like many others, I had discontinued my music classes after school, but thanks to Mom, I had now restarted after almost a decade.
As I contemplated my menu and chores for the evening, I realized my eighth grader had a chart assignment due the next day. A few years back, I would fret but honestly, I had now given up stressing since some time.
I was your quintessential mom with all my time and attention focussed on my son, till he was diagnosed with learning disability. My whole world turned upside down and as the world dictated, I gave up my career…my reading, writing, singing, everything to concentrate on my son alone. This took a toll on me and calling myself depressed would be an understatement. My sleep suffered, I wept all the time, I was irritated and all my negative energy got started impacting my family as well.
That’s when my Mom came to my rescue. She persuaded me to start working again. At her behest, I also joined music classes and created a timetable for the day that managed me to fit in all the things in the day including giving time to my kid.
She taught me MY value in MY life. She taught me to be a bit selfish and not center my entire day around my kid. Thanks to her, my son has become more independent, our relationship has improved, I am more relaxed and confident. I sing, I write, I cook and most importantly..I live.
So you might feel that my mom would have practiced what she preached to me. She in fact preached what she never practiced. A young mother to two, she had sacrificed her life for her husband, kids and in-laws. All I remember her is as someone who kept everyone else but herself happy. She couldn’t work, couldn’t pursue her dreams, she was always a Mom…just a Mom.
Today when she saw me under the same circumstances, she helped me get out of the rot and spread my wings . She clipped hers, so I could open mine. To live my dreams, to be more than just A MOM.
The image is a still from the movie Astitva
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