Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
Abortion is rarely discussed openly in India, even within families, and there are too many misconceptions about it. This real life story of a mother who chose abortion will get you thinking.
This incident happened 4 months ago. I do not know this lady who I met in the clinic, neither does she know me. But I have a big problem. I keep hunting for stories, looking at incidents around me that make me think, that make me understand parenting, and that make me understand another mom’s situation. And so out of curiosity, I again enquired into this lady’s story.
I had been to a clinic to collect my thyroid reports. Since the counter person asked me to wait for some time, I sat on a couch when I noticed a very impatient lady sitting beside me. In fact, she was very restless and unable to sit in one place. She was moving around like a pendulum. And above all, her 5 year old was all around, jumping and playing. She jumped on me all of a sudden and started laughing. That was when the mother turned towards me and started apologising.
I told her that it was okay and then said gently, “Please don’t mind. But I find you very tense and restless. I am no one to ask you, but if you feel comfortable, you can share your story.” She immediately held my hands and said, “I just had an abortion at 5 weeks of pregnancy. Post termination, I had my ultrasound and I am waiting for my reports. My husband works abroad. Though he supports me in every manner and he knows about this abortion, I am scared. I stay with my mom and she is unaware of this. What if the abortion has not been successful? I just cannot think of a second baby”. Her name was then called for reports. She immediately opened it, read the report, hugged me tightly and said, “It’s over. No pregnancy.” What relief I could see on her face!
“Great. But tell me one thing. Why were you so afraid of this pregnancy?” I asked her out of curiosity.
“You know, I am 36 years old. I left my first job to take care of my baby. My husband supports me always. He works abroad. Raising a child all alone is very tough along with managing a job. I still tried managing, till she was 3 years old. He left to go abroad when she was just 6 months old. Though I have maids to help me, still, my body did not support me much. All those nights when I was awake for my child, all those days running after her to make her have her food, then running to office and then managing the kitchen, wardrobe, and medical… it is really tough, yaar. Now when my daughter is 5 years old, she has fallen in a routine, I get some time for myself, to look for a job, to exercise, go out for a movie, or even dine out. Very soon we will both be joining my husband abroad and I shall start working again. This is the reason I terminated this pregnancy. I cannot go through all that again. And at this age, I know that I will not be able to take care of a small child. I do not know if I am right or wrong. My husband is with me and he understands. All this time of abortion, my daughter was with me and was a big support. I was very tense but now I feel relaxed.”
“Hmm…” was the only word that I could utter.
“I do not know why I narrated all this to you. But, I am feeling very light and happy. Can I know your name?” She asked.
“Rohini…” I said.
“Thanks for listening to me.” She stood, held her toddler, waved to me, and went away.
That entire day and till date I have been thinking of her and her story. Was she correct?
Yes, she was in her own way. She knew her limitations. She knew what she wanted and how to manage it. Abortion does not mean that a mother does not love children. But what she said had a point. She is a mother but was not willing to be a mother again.
read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
It is shameful that in today's world too, women are abused and even killed for giving birth to a girl, and the infant's life is also of no value.
Trigger Warning: This deals with domestic violence, suicide, and violence against women, and may be triggering to survivors.
I am so glad that the esteemed courts are now giving the much-required verdicts regarding certain ideologies that were not at all entertained earlier. I mean we all have studied this much biology at our school level and it is our duty (our generation) to educate our elders about it.
Why someone have to lose a life to bring such awareness to the society. Delhi High Court gave this judgement concerning a case that filed by the deceased daughter’s parents against her in-laws. She committed suicide as she was harassed and tortured for dowry and giving birth to two daughters.
Please enter your email address