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For The Sake Of Love!

Have any number of flings but if you choose an arrange marriage set-up in the end...you are labelled as sanskari. Do it a little differently and you will know yourself.

Have you ever been to a wedding? Of course, you have!

Then have you ever wondered about the story behind a wedding? A story that these two confused people who have agreed to marry may have?

I always think about it. And try to have a sneak peek into their story, if possible. And then, I exclaim at their reasons to get married…

👉 Because Mummy Papa said he is the right one for me.

👉 Because I am 29 and want to get settled.

👉 Because he earns well.

👉 Because my ex left me. I want to show him.

👉 Because he can afford my kind of lifestyle.

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Be a little more daring and ask parents of bride and groom about their reasons to choose this very Munda (boy) or Kudi (girl). And the typical answers you will hear are…

👉 Because we are of same status.

👉 Because he did engineering from so-so institute.

👉 Because she is ambitious and dono mil ke kamayenge.

👉 Because they will “let her” work after marriage.

👉 Because family is so open-minded that they “allow” their DILs to wear jeans.

👉 Because they are drowning us under an ocean of dowry (though no-one ever says it loud🙄)

And then the most important question arises ..where is love in this all???

People all around the world get married because they fall in love and want to have this bond of companionship for their whole life.

But, in India, people get married for shit load of reasons except for love!

Those who choose or even try to be a little unsanskari (err, if that’s a word 🤐) are looked down as ultimate shame to their parents, as if they just ditched all those years of hard and earnest parenting efforts. Because how on Earth one may get married for the sake of love!!!

Have any number of flings but if you choose an arrange marriage set-up in the end…you are labelled as sanskari. Do it a little differently and you will know yourself.

I know a girl who is very close to me and is fighting with all her might so that she can marry someone she connects with.

Another dear friend of mine is patiently waiting for his girlfriend of many years. This boy is educated, well settled, cultured, comes from a decent background and most importantly, knows how to cook (believe me that’s a rare breed in India)!

But the girl’s father wants his daughter to marry someone from their own caste. I mean… Really???

No matter if this “chosen one” doesn’t even respect her daughter’s dreams, if he can’t cook one decent meal when the need arises. What all matters is his caste/ his state/ his mother tongue….

How difficult it is to understand that love/friendship should be the only reason behind a marriage?

Because no matter how differently two people are wired…they would sail through if they put other’s need before their own.

I am not against arranged marriage because it has its own magic and charm. But when two consenting adults want to live together, there shouldn’t be any dissent.

Yes, sometimes they may end up feeling hurt. Yes, their choice may go wrong. But eventually they will learn their lessons and will come out wiser.

You don’t stop your baby from cruising around for the fear of falling, do you?

And this has a blessing for parents as well. I mean… I can never blame my parents for the kind of pain  (not literally 😝) my husband is!

So, please, step aside and let them get married to whoever they want. Be there for them and save yourself from ever going complaints about the “chosen one” 😜

 

Image via Pixabay

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About the Author

Monali Johari

A mother who tries to address every social issue that is a hurdle in my daughter's way to a better future... Be it as trivial as body shaming or as important as sexual harassment. read more...

5 Posts | 10,039 Views

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