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Have any number of flings but if you choose an arrange marriage set-up in the end...you are labelled as sanskari. Do it a little differently and you will know yourself.
Have you ever been to a wedding? Of course, you have!
Then have you ever wondered about the story behind a wedding? A story that these two confused people who have agreed to marry may have?
I always think about it. And try to have a sneak peek into their story, if possible. And then, I exclaim at their reasons to get married…
👉 Because Mummy Papa said he is the right one for me.
👉 Because I am 29 and want to get settled.
👉 Because he earns well.
👉 Because my ex left me. I want to show him.
👉 Because he can afford my kind of lifestyle.
Be a little more daring and ask parents of bride and groom about their reasons to choose this very Munda (boy) or Kudi (girl). And the typical answers you will hear are…
👉 Because we are of same status.
👉 Because he did engineering from so-so institute.
👉 Because she is ambitious and dono mil ke kamayenge.
👉 Because they will “let her” work after marriage.
👉 Because family is so open-minded that they “allow” their DILs to wear jeans.
👉 Because they are drowning us under an ocean of dowry (though no-one ever says it loud🙄)
And then the most important question arises ..where is love in this all???
People all around the world get married because they fall in love and want to have this bond of companionship for their whole life.
But, in India, people get married for shit load of reasons except for love!
Those who choose or even try to be a little unsanskari (err, if that’s a word 🤐) are looked down as ultimate shame to their parents, as if they just ditched all those years of hard and earnest parenting efforts. Because how on Earth one may get married for the sake of love!!!
Have any number of flings but if you choose an arrange marriage set-up in the end…you are labelled as sanskari. Do it a little differently and you will know yourself.
I know a girl who is very close to me and is fighting with all her might so that she can marry someone she connects with.
Another dear friend of mine is patiently waiting for his girlfriend of many years. This boy is educated, well settled, cultured, comes from a decent background and most importantly, knows how to cook (believe me that’s a rare breed in India)!
But the girl’s father wants his daughter to marry someone from their own caste. I mean… Really???
No matter if this “chosen one” doesn’t even respect her daughter’s dreams, if he can’t cook one decent meal when the need arises. What all matters is his caste/ his state/ his mother tongue….
How difficult it is to understand that love/friendship should be the only reason behind a marriage?
Because no matter how differently two people are wired…they would sail through if they put other’s need before their own.
I am not against arranged marriage because it has its own magic and charm. But when two consenting adults want to live together, there shouldn’t be any dissent.
Yes, sometimes they may end up feeling hurt. Yes, their choice may go wrong. But eventually they will learn their lessons and will come out wiser.
You don’t stop your baby from cruising around for the fear of falling, do you?
And this has a blessing for parents as well. I mean… I can never blame my parents for the kind of pain (not literally 😝) my husband is!
So, please, step aside and let them get married to whoever they want. Be there for them and save yourself from ever going complaints about the “chosen one” 😜
Image via Pixabay
A mother who tries to address every social issue that is a hurdle in my daughter's way to a better future... Be it as trivial as body shaming or as important as sexual harassment. read more...
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Rajshri Deshpande, who played the fiery protagonist in Trial by Fire along with Abhay Deol speaks of her journey and her social work.
Rajshri Deshpande as the protagonist in ‘Trial by Fire’, the recent Netflix show has received raving reviews along with the show itself for its sensitive portrayal of the Uphaar Cinema Hall fire tragedy, 1997 and its aftermath.
The limited series is based on the book by the same name written by Neelam and Shekhar Krishnamoorthy, who lost both their children in the tragedy. We got an opportunity to interview Rajshri Deshpande who played Neelam Krishnamoorthy, the woman who has been relentlessly crusading in the court for holding the owners responsible for the sheer negligence.
Rajshri Deshpande is more than an actor. She is also a social warrior, the rare celebrity from the film industry who has also gone back to her roots to give to poverty struck farming villages in her native Marathwada, with her NGO Nabhangan Foundation. Of course a chance to speak with her one on one was a must!
“What is a woman’s job, Ramesh? Taking care of parents-in-law, husband, children, home and things at work—all at the same time? She isn’t God or a superhuman."
The arrays of workstations were occupied by people peering into their computer screens. The clicks of keyboard keys were punctuated by the occasional footsteps moving around to brainstorm or collaborate with colleagues in their cubicles. Most employees went about their tasks without looking at the person seated on either side of their workstation. Meenakshi was one of them.
The thirty-one-year-old marketing manager in a leading eCommerce company in India sat straight in her seat, her eyes on the screen, her fingers punching furiously into the keys. She was in a flow and wanted to finish the report while the thoughts and words were coming effortlessly into her mind.
Natu-Natu. The mellifluous ringtone interrupted her thoughts. She frowned at her mobile phone with half a mind to keep it ringing until she noticed the caller’s name on the screen, making her pick up the phone immediately.
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