Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
The pain was intense. She had taken the mixture about an hour ago. It would kill the last baby she could ever have. She knew deep within that it would be a girl. She wanted to decide its fate. It felt only right that she did.
Shaku Bai hunched over, her face twisted in pain. Her feet caught the edge of her saree as she leant over nearer to the fire, rocking herself gently. The ache in her tummy was killing her, stabbing at her in little darts, grinding away with no mercy. The warmth from the stove was rather comforting and it was the only comfort she could draw on. The beads of sweat from her face poured down the sides and ran down her neck to blend with her brown skin and faded blouse and disappeared into the recesses of her body.
She was losing the baby and she wanted to finish making the night’s dinner before that. She gritted her teeth and stifled the cry dying to come out. He was sleeping soundly on the creaky bed. It was a rickety structure with the faded ropes that looked like it would give way under his weight but never did. She often felt like the cot when he thrust his weight on her, pushing and prodding his masculinity deep within her and drawing his pleasure, caring neither for her pain or pleasure.
She had lost three children so far. Three girls. She was aging, she knew. The rhythms of her body felt different. She ought to have been grateful that he had not taken another wife. That he did not beat or abuse her. She could not give him a child. A son. Her mother-in-law was sitting outside chewing paan, spitting it all around, her beady eyes surveying the passersby.
Her hands were trembling as hot tears pricked her eyes. The last roti was smoking, burning her eyes now, adding to the tears. It was all finally done. She covered the food precisely so that the heat would stay and lay down beside the man on the floor, clenching her jaw, her lips bloodied. The pain was intense. She had taken the mixture about an hour ago. It would kill the last baby she could ever have. She knew deep within that it would be a girl. She wanted to decide its fate. It felt only right that she did.
He had promised her a new stove, one that would not burn her eyes if she gave him a baby boy. She now knew that it was never to be. She sobbed silently, deep sobs that she stifled lest she wake him. The old lady was stirring outside.
She must have fainted, as the red washed the floor. She had no recollection of anything. No one spoke a word when she woke up. She was on a hospital bed. Her husband sat beside her and her mother-in-law was standing there eying her balefully.
They told her it had been a baby boy.
A version of this was first published here.
Image source: shutterstock
A free spirit with an exuberance for life, an unapologetic individualist who has blazed her own trail as an entrepreneur in media and communication, a lover of stories and words, cinema and travel, coffee and read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
It is shameful that in today's world too, women are abused and even killed for giving birth to a girl, and the infant's life is also of no value.
Trigger Warning: This deals with domestic violence, suicide, and violence against women, and may be triggering to survivors.
I am so glad that the esteemed courts are now giving the much-required verdicts regarding certain ideologies that were not at all entertained earlier. I mean we all have studied this much biology at our school level and it is our duty (our generation) to educate our elders about it.
Why someone have to lose a life to bring such awareness to the society. Delhi High Court gave this judgement concerning a case that filed by the deceased daughter’s parents against her in-laws. She committed suicide as she was harassed and tortured for dowry and giving birth to two daughters.
Please enter your email address