You Love Something That Is…Just A Fraction Of My Entity

Posted: January 4, 2019

When a woman is loved only for the kohl of her eyes and the voluptuousness of her hips, is she really being loved for her true self?

I remember how you looked
at me that day
my hair swaying gracefully
dancing to the tunes
of my heart
treading on what is to be hidden
flattering their perfect roundness
The song of youth
playing silently on my lips
trying hard to be understood
And the kohl of my eyes
waiting to be smeared
I know you wanted all of me
I saw a compound of love
and lust, and praised
myself for what I never
worked hard to be
those eyes, those breasts, those hips
that came as genetically
as the grey of my eyes
just like my grandmother’s
grandmother had had
I see you again to find
your eyes fixated on me
I am happy that I am good enough
to catch your eye
when there must be hundreds like me
and millions much better
I thank God for being wanted
for being desired, for being lusted after
And I see a picture again
of my grandmother, smiling
the adoring gaze of my grandfather
grey hair, wrinkled skin
blurry vision
And look back at you
I try to tell myself, I have
wanted you more
than you ever wanted me
that I was just telling myself
how lucky a woman I am
and then the realization dawns
you love something that is
just a fraction of my entity
a shameful representation
of what I am truly
capable of being
A sad smile plays on my lips
You look surprised and probably
think that women are never meant
to be understood properly
But I know now
why we were never
meant to be.

Image via Unsplash

IT professional. Honored as State-level child scientist(2006). Winner Global Essay Writing contest: TCS-

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