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India has a rich tradition of talking about and dealing with growing old and death, but we do not think of these, while perpetuating patriarchy that discriminates against half the population.
When my father fell ill and his health started deteriorating, I was beginning to witness a painful journey – it was the journey of a human being, alone and in pain, and often fully aware of the arduous task he knew lay ahead of him.
He had always been healthy – strong and solid to the core. An early life of rigorous outdoor activities had made him rugged and strong. I remember him getting up early in the morning – his morning habits of exercising and keeping himself healthy made him quite a cheerful person. Always a sociable human being, with a ‘hi ‘and a ‘hello’ to everyone, I saw him grow old – his limbs losing strength, his vision failing, his steps faltering, this thoughts scattered – all that remained was his amiable self, and of course his loving heart.
Once the journey down the hill started, he knew, being a medical practitioner – he knew that it was a losing battle. Yet often, I saw in his eyes a fear; confused and unable to comprehend, he seemed to be making an effort to pull himself together even when the odds were against him. I saw – with immense sorrow – how he was losing it. I was a helpless spectator, while he fought with the fears – with his losing motor skills, with his incontinence. All that I could offer him were meaningless words – trying to comfort him, and of course medical care that was meant to cure, and not just to care.
The elderly in India, I now understand, face a hostile world. They are of course easy business for the hospitals, targets that can bring profit to the pharmaceutical companies, where results don’t really matter. The art of living is also the art of dying.
When death is the only certainty in this transitory world, why are we not equipped to grow old gracefully and pass on with dignity? Why is our society so ill-equipped to face death or to care for its elderly with empathy and compassion and above all, with a rational perspective?
India has a tradition of addressing old age and death in a graceful manner. We have ancient texts, that discuss this aspect of human life which is inevitable. While rules of living that built the foundations of patriarchy, like the Manusmrithi have been celebrated and repeatedly quoted by scholars and laymen alike, we have preferred to turn away from texts that discuss other aspects of social living, old age being one of them.
Senility is a complex process and a phase of human existence that is repeatedly portrayed as a depressive and alienated one, and our society refuses to speak about it. We are not comfortable speaking to sick old people. We feel uneasy when we face impending death in the form of an old person, bedridden and extremely ill.
With the arrival of modernity, brought in by colonial presence, we began to turn away from the aged population. They were not productive, and within the framework of the nation, they were a liability. Society turned towards the youth, while the old were left behind to be taken care of within the larger family structure.
As India embraces neoliberal capitalist values, senility is a dreaded future we can be sure of, if we are healthy and young. With an exploitative work culture that sees the young as their potential labor force, the old are conveniently ignored and shelved. With the larger family structures giving way for smaller and fragmented ones, the old are left to fend for themselves. With a larger section of the population growing old, projected to increase to 300 million by 2050, Indian society has to start searching for ways to address the needs of the old, find methods to grow old gracefully, within a compassionate social system that is an age-friendly one.
Image source: pixabay
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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