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Women are being killed even today for not being able to bear a child, and many of them are tortured physically and mentally for that. When will all this change?
A news item was floating around on my timeline yesterday. Sad news. It said something like ‘a woman has killed herself or she is being murdered for not being able to bear a child.’ Pardon me for my lack of surety, because I didn’t open the link. I didn’t want to read the gory details. I didn’t want to read how that lady must have been tortured. And now she is no more. It pains. I looked at the title on the link, and I almost knew what must have been written inside.
This saddens me beyond words. It is a topic that I have seen my very close friends battling with. The all important question of women and motherhood. And, it can get nasty beyond words. Trust me.
I mean, do people really marry and have sex only to procreate? Probably yes. Maybe an emphatic yes. Because otherwise there wouldn’t have been such mounting pressure on women to bear a child. While women have this natural gift of bringing a new life into the world, How for many others expecting them to do this becomes their privilege. How the family suddenly begins to think that ‘oh wow now we have a machine that will do this for us.’ Well, if the machine works well, good. And, for some godforsaken reason if the machine doesn’t, then, God save the goat.
I know I am being harsh. But, think about it. Shouldn’t childbearing be a happy and natural process? A testimony of love and a happy union? Aren’t a woman and her husband the sole people who should be taking a call on it? Why does the family need to intervene at all?
Here, again, the women. Mother in law and her associates often leave no stone unturned to make it worse. They do. Hello, let’s not deny this. She herself being a woman, it’s really sad that she should be the torch bearer of this campaign against her own daughter in law. Leave exceptions aside people, this is the reality, and it looms large on the lives of most brides of this country. Sadly.
And men? How many husbands can come out into the open and say that it isn’t my wife’s but my problem. Few. I tell you, very very few. It actually take balls to admit your inadequacy. And men from all strata, mind you. The rich, the poor, the educated and the illiterate ones, they all shy away. It hurts their mardangi, right?
This has to change. Must. Must change. She is a human, first. Understand. Absorb. Respect unconditionally. Accept unconditionally. Period.
Or else, all the bachao and padao will do no good to the betis. All gimmicks. Obnoxious. Farce. They will remain where they are perceived to be. All along.
In between the legs.
A version of this was first published on the author’s Facebook page.
Image source: YouTube
An avid reader, a blogger, a book reviewer, a freelancer writer and an aspiring author. She has an opinion about everything around. And through her writings she reaches out to the world. A mother of read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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