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Being a single mom myself, here's why I think being a single mom makes you so strong - nothing like real life experience as a teacher!
Being a single mom myself, here’s why I think being a single mom makes you so strong – nothing like real life experience as a teacher!
Single mums are ‘easy’. Single mums have no morals. The children of single mothers will become failures.
As single mothers, these are some of the things that we hear every single day. It’s a damaging rhetoric that throws our entire moral compass into question. Our sex lives are under assumption, our parenting skills are dismissed as second rate. It’s no wonder that single mothers are the social demographic with one of the lowest levels of self-esteem in the world. Google Searches such as ‘Can a Single Mum find love again?’, ‘I feel so lonely as a single mother.’ are evidence of a global pandemic, a midnight worry that blossoms into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
When we become less than adequate in our own eyes, we start to mirror the judgement of everyone around us.
It’s the look on the faces of men, older women, the other parents at the school. They question: ‘How did she end up alone?’, they reason that somehow it must have been our fault. That the abuses of men, the death of a father come secondary to our own demoralising behaviour.
According to the Kids Count Data Centre, 16% of families in Asia are single parent families. Compared with almost 30% in the USA. This is set to rise in the next decade, as the nuclear family is on the decline. Women are now seeking parental autonomy with the uprising of feminism and a lower tolerance for domestic violence. Women are being educated and are seeking degrees; we no longer need a man to survive the economy.
The ideal mother is portrayed as the homemaker, the one who greets her husband as he comes in from work; briefcase in hand. The mere suggestion that a woman can do both is abhorrent in many Indian social circles. To shun the matriarchal duty for a more ambidextrous occupation-as the mother AND the earner, seems to big a task. One that the media loves to tear apart with it’s well sharpened claws.
It’s true; single mothers have less access to medical care, are more likely to live in poverty and are assumed to have less religious values than their married counterparts. However, this must not deter us from changing the impression of the judging masses. We must strive to break free of the chains of poverty, become entrepreneurs and examples for the next generation. Even if that means starting a YouTube channel for beauty tips, cooking or seeking education abroad.
Let’s remind ourselves of why we are strong and take the next day by the horns.
Image source: a still from the movie Nil Battey Sannata
Single Mother, Student, Blogger, Writer read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Being a writer, Nivedita Louis recognises the struggles of a first-time woman writer and helps many articulate their voice with development, content edits as a publisher.
“I usually write during night”, says author Nivedita Louis during our conversation. Chuckling she continues,” It’s easier then to focus solely on writing. Nivedita Louis is a writer, with varied interests and one of the founders of Her Stories, a feminist publishing house, based in Chennai.
In a candid conversation she shared her journey from small-town Tamil Nadu to becoming a history buff, an award-winning author and now a publisher.
Nivedita was born and raised in a small town in Tamil Nadu. It was for schooling that she first arrived in Chennai. Then known as Madras, she recalls being awed by the city. Her love-story with the city, its people and thus began which continues till date. She credits her perseverance and passion to make a difference to her days as a vocational student among the elite sections of Madras.
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