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The 'stress virus' seems to affect all of us in this hyper-connected, dynamic world. Women especially, are big time carriers of this virus - is it time to be kinder on ourselves?
The ‘stress virus’ seems to affect all of us in this hyper-connected, dynamic world. Women especially, are big time carriers of this virus – is it time to be kinder on ourselves?
This morning I was flitting through my email and came across a very interesting Women’s Web newsletter (Editor’s Note: You can subscribe to it here too!). About stress and how it might be affecting creativity.
It got me thinking. This modern-day plague of stress is rampant in every sphere of life. I’ve seen women suffering from this ‘disease’ whether they are single, married, working full time, part time, from home, SAHM, or any other cross section you could think of.
It not only kills creativity, it robs you of feeling normal or capable. It eats away at your core. Is this condition self-inflicted or just a result of our environment?
I hear experts saying very often that we are solely responsible for our stress. How often have you heard people saying, ‘Relax, take a chill pill’, or ‘Don’t think so much. Things will work out.’ I don’t know about you but these statements make me angry instead of placating me. After all, no-one deliberately wants to be stressed right? It isn’t the best feeling in the world either. That tension headache in the front of the head, the buzzing, the dull ache and churning in the tummy, sweaty palms, racing heart, how are any of these desirable? I’ve heard of so many people say that they get stressed about getting stressed! That if they know they are anxious about something, it makes them more helpless that they can’t control it.
Despite my general exuberance, I have been a carrier of this virus as well. More frequently than I’d like to admit and somehow after my maternity break, it became worse. The post partum depression phase definitely had a role to play. But even after it was gone, I was anxious and stressed about so many nonsensical things. It was almost changing my personality. I eventually got back to work, my passion: travel, a normal life and body, supported by a great family, managed to get back to writing, wrote and published my first book, milestones that would make most dizzy with happiness.
Yet the stress and anxiety wouldn’t leave me. One fine day I sat holding my head, heavy with a multitude of plans and problems and worries, and suddenly decided that I had had enough. I shook my head resolutely and had a cold shower. I made a list of all the things that were irking me and realised that most of them had a solution. The problem was actually inside me. I was pushing myself so hard, holding myself to such standards, judging myself so much that I was bound to fail in my own eyes! It was like a eureka moment.
Isn’t it hard enough that as women, we don’t have it easy from the get go? If it’s not gender stereotypes or discrimination, we are battling prejudices or fighting for our rights. Between home, work, responsibilities, children, relationships, where is the time to crucify yourself. But we still find the time. Because we still think there is more we can do. Guess what, YOU ARE DOING ENOUGH! More than enough.
The world around you will not change but it is up to you to find the beauty in it by being at peace with yourself or then constantly being at war by berating yourself and pushing yourself all the time. Your stomach with its scars of battle, the imperfections in your beautiful face, the callouses in your hard working hands, your proudest body of work, your family, everything that you do and you are is exactly how it is meant to be.
Enjoy every moment – walk instead of running, accept instead of judging and see that monstrous stress melt away like candy floss!
Richa is a Ted X speaker, an award-winning writer, columnist, ex-journalist and advertising professional. She has authored four books of which three are being adapted for screen. She is a blogger and travel read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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