Humiliation! An Underestimated Violence That Leaves No Visible Scars But Shatters Dreams…

Posted: September 14, 2018

When we talk about violence, is it just about scars, blood, or is it about shattered self esteem and scattered dreams too? Wives are routinely humiliated, by the ‘lord and master’ husbands.

I think violence doesn’t mean that the violent party has to raise his hand every time. Sometimes words can give scars which even the sharpest of weapons cannot make.

It was a regular morning walk for me and my jogger friend, but there was something which was easily noticeable. My otherwise chirpy ‘chatterbox’ friend was quite lost in her thoughts and was unusually quiet; I could make out that there was a whirlpool of emotions which she was trying to control, but was miserably failing to do so.

I simply hugged her and look into her eyes and asked, “All well?” Her eyes welled up and she just started crying inconsolably. “Dee, I wish I could end my life!”

I was shocked to hear her words. I shook her, “Are you out of your mind? What happened, and whatever has happened, it cannot be so big for you to say such a thing!” She just looked at me, and in a heavy tone she told me that after 10 years of marriage, her husband considers her to be a ‘parasite’ as she is not working after the baby was born.

“What? Is he out of his mind? How ridiculous of him, to say so! You are a well qualified girl who understands her family duties, and you are working in the home!”

“But he thinks that I am not doing any work as I am not contributing to the earning.”

“Nonsense! You are giving your heart and soul to the family.”

But my shallow words could not give solace  to her despite trying my level best, but this entire incident left me thinking and the answer to which is still hidden …

Women tolerate too much; they sacrifice pieces of their lives to run the family, but when their contribution is measured in numbers… isn’t it violence?

A qualified lady happily left her high earning  job to nurse her kids, and then calling her a ‘parasite’… isn’t it violence?

The lady who lost her curves after giving birth to your own precious jewels and then body shaming her… isn’t it violence ?

A lady has to bear tantrums  from in laws and husband never stands for her rather he expects her tolerate it all…….isn’t it violence?

Violence is not only about wounds that bleed; it is also about wounds that don’t bleed but are much deeper. A loveless, emotionless, and thankless marriage is also violence and it should not be left unaddressed. What could be the remedy of such a condition where the seven vows of love, understanding, support, care,… all are forgotten?

A version of this was first published here.

Image source: YouTube

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  1. I can help your friend out both in professional capacity and on personal experience. If it helps please do ask her connect. Sometimes an unknown voice helps.

  2. Deepika sharma narayan -

    Thanks dear,she is already consulting a professional.Thanks for ur concern.

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