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When we talk about violence, is it just about scars, blood, or is it about shattered self esteem and scattered dreams too? Wives are routinely humiliated, by the 'lord and master' husbands.
When we talk about violence, is it just about scars, blood, or is it about shattered self esteem and scattered dreams too? Wives are routinely humiliated, by the ‘lord and master’ husbands.
I think violence doesn’t mean that the violent party has to raise his hand every time. Sometimes words can give scars which even the sharpest of weapons cannot make.
It was a regular morning walk for me and my jogger friend, but there was something which was easily noticeable. My otherwise chirpy ‘chatterbox’ friend was quite lost in her thoughts and was unusually quiet; I could make out that there was a whirlpool of emotions which she was trying to control, but was miserably failing to do so.
I simply hugged her and look into her eyes and asked, “All well?” Her eyes welled up and she just started crying inconsolably. “Dee, I wish I could end my life!”
I was shocked to hear her words. I shook her, “Are you out of your mind? What happened, and whatever has happened, it cannot be so big for you to say such a thing!” She just looked at me, and in a heavy tone she told me that after 10 years of marriage, her husband considers her to be a ‘parasite’ as she is not working after the baby was born.
“What? Is he out of his mind? How ridiculous of him, to say so! You are a well qualified girl who understands her family duties, and you are working in the home!”
“But he thinks that I am not doing any work as I am not contributing to the earning.”
“Nonsense! You are giving your heart and soul to the family.”
But my shallow words could not give solace to her despite trying my level best, but this entire incident left me thinking and the answer to which is still hidden …
Women tolerate too much; they sacrifice pieces of their lives to run the family, but when their contribution is measured in numbers… isn’t it violence?
A qualified lady happily left her high earning job to nurse her kids, and then calling her a ‘parasite’… isn’t it violence?
The lady who lost her curves after giving birth to your own precious jewels and then body shaming her… isn’t it violence ?
A lady has to bear tantrums from in laws and husband never stands for her rather he expects her tolerate it all…….isn’t it violence?
Violence is not only about wounds that bleed; it is also about wounds that don’t bleed but are much deeper. A loveless, emotionless, and thankless marriage is also violence and it should not be left unaddressed. What could be the remedy of such a condition where the seven vows of love, understanding, support, care,… all are forgotten?
A version of this was first published here.
Image source: YouTube
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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