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So I want to preserve my good quality eggs to ensure that I don’t have fertility issues later. I want to liberate myself from the fear of the ticking biological clock.
Three women met for the first time at the gynae’s chamber. The wait was long. So they decided to have coffee together. Malti and Rohini proceeded towards the clinic’s cafeteria. Disha said she would join later after meeting the lab people.
They grabbed a table at the corner and ordered two cappuccinos.
Rohini – “It’s so boring to wait.”
Malti – “Good you suggested coffee.”
Rohini – “Yeah wanted to talk too. Was curious to know why you are here.”
Malti – “Not to have babies of course (laughs). I am going through a premenopausal transition phase. My menopause is round the corner. I have weird symptoms – irregular periods, insomnia, mood swings. So, I am here seeking relief and a smooth transition to menopause.”
Rohini – “Got that.”
Malti – “And what about you?”
Rohini – “Planning to conceive. I am seeking treatment.”
Malti –“Our gynae is good. You will definitely conceive. You know I was thinking something. How we females are blessed with the ability to procreate thanks to our eggs. We are born with millions of eggs, keep losing them and one day are left with none. I am at the junction of life when I am about to exhaust my ovarian reserve. I feel for my eggs. They were with me throughout my life. Although they were mute spectators, I drew strength from their presence in my body. Now, I feel a huge sense of loss.”
Rohini – “I never thought on those lines. It’s a different perspective.”
Malti – “My eggs saw my journey from being a girl to a mother of two girls. They were with me be it moments of joy or tears.”
Rohini – “I also think about my eggs. Just that I am bit annoyed with them. I feel my eggs are not letting me conceive. I am unable to release one good egg. I have polycystic ovarian syndrome. Multiple follicles rim my ovaries and ovulation goes for a toss. I feel my eggs have failed me. They are getting drained out of the body without any intent of fulfilling their purpose in life. I feel denied by my own eggs.”
Malti – “Oh don’t feel so! It is a common problem these days. You will get positive news soon.”
Disha enters and grabs a chair.
Disha –“Sorry ladies. I got late. Actually this month, I am going for ‘freezing of eggs’. Was discussing technicalities with the lab guys.”
Malti – “Eggs again!”
Rohini – “I have read about it in the newspapers.”
Disha – “Yes, Diana Hayden had both her pregnancies using eggs she had frozen years ago. Her first child is from eggs frozen 8 years ago and second pregnancy is from eggs frozen 3 years ago.”
Rohini – “But why are you going for it?”
Disha – “See, I am 30 now. But I can’t plan pregnancy for few years due to my career related travel plans. So I want to preserve my good quality eggs to ensure that I don’t have fertility issues later. I want to liberate myself from the fear of the ticking biological clock. Hope my investment pays off well.”
Malti – “Good luck to both you girls. Chalo, time to meet our gynae.”
Malti is going through a tough phase. She feels she is losing her eggs, losing control over her daughters, losing her charm and losing her sleep too. In all this loss, the only ray of hope is the companionship of her husband. He is about to come back home. His last posting before retirement is in Delhi. All these years, he has been posted far away. She had stayed back to raise her daughters well. She managed her household singlehandedly. Only she and her eggs know about the struggles and the sacrifices she made every day.
Rohini feels denied by her own body. Any pregnancy announcement, she feels low. Not because she does not feel happy for the other woman. But because she feels miserable for herself. She lives with the guilt of the abortion she did years ago. She did not want a baby so early in the marriage. She never knew, years later, her remaining eggs would fight against her.
Disha is ambitious. She is having a rewarding career. She has booked a penthouse on the top floor of a tower. She heads the technical unit of her company. She wants to be on the top. She had failed to get into IIT despite being the best of the lot. That day, she had promised to herself she would never fail again. No failure since then. She won’t let her eggs fail too.
Three women, three different perspectives of life, three different perceptions about the eggs in their bodies. You and I also have our own egg stories – stories of facts and emotions known only to us.
As one by one the eggs leave my body every month, I just want to say to the parting egg:-
All my life, I gave you warmth and care,
Promise me – my secrets you will never share.
A version of this was published here earlier.
Image source: shutterstock
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