Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
I have been shamed for being too thin growing up, told that I was not beautiful, and hated my body. But I learnt body positivity, and am today comfortable in my skin.
I stood in front of the mirror, looking spitefully at my thin frame, an aspect of my body that was being joked about and even been called “sick” by many.
I was only a 13 year-old when I was first made aware of the fact that my thin body was ugly. I didn’t have any curves, and somehow this meant that I wasn’t a girl enough. Comments like “oh do you not eat food?”, “are you starving yourself?”, “you need to gain some weight and then you’ll be beautiful”, became common greetings when I attended family functions or met friends after a long time.
It was surprising how even strangers felt that they had a right to call me out on my bony structure.
Without even realising it, the fact that I was thin became a big matter of insecurity in my life.
Shopping, an activity that girls around me thoroughly enjoyed, became the worst kind of torture for me. I would rummage through shelves at stores to look for an XS, but alas! It turned out that the fashion industry catered only to “ideal” sizes. This left me with a limited wardrobe and a self-confidence that would sink lower every passing day.
And so, growing up in a patriarchal society, hating myself was something that I inherited quite early on in life. Be it people’s comments, advertisements on televisions that convince women that they aren’t beautiful just as they are or magazine covers where “real” bodies of women are airbrushed or photoshopped, it has been very easy to live in the harrowing bubble of insecurities.
Fast-forward to ten years later, I’m still an XS, but today, I’m extremely comfortable in my body. It doesn’t matter if my wrists are thin, or if I don’t have a voluptuous body, and the only thing that changed this has been the increasing conversation around body-positivity.
When I see conversations about this topic, it makes me realise that every kind of woman —thin, plus-sized, plump, dark, fair, short or tall has been pushed to feel incompetent based on their respective physical features. I realised, it wasn’t just I who suffered at the hands of society; I realised that it was literally every woman I’ve come across in my life. So who’s to blame? Us girls and women who do not fit the conventional standards of beauty? Or the society that has reduced our identity to our bodies? The answer is obviously the latter. However, the sad truth is that due to these unrealistic expectations of looking a certain way, almost every girl has spent years hating herself, spending enormous amount of money to correct her “faults”and crying to herself every time she looked at herself in the mirror.
So if you’re reading this and can’t stop thinking about the physical features that come in the way of loving yourself, this is for you —You’re beautiful, just as you are. You don’t have to hate yourself, you don’t have to change yourself just because the society wants you to.
Surround yourself with people who love you and believe in you, block every toxic person that makes you feel like you aren’t good enough. You’re so much more than these “flaws”! Focus on all that makes you happy, put all your energy into becoming a kinder person and always, always lift up the women around you.
It’s time we work towards loving ourselves, something that we should have been doing right from the beginning.
Image source: freewallpapers
A graduate in English Honours from Lady Shri Ram College for Women, Saumia is a freelance content writer who enjoys writing about the world from the lens of a woman as she travels around the read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Being a writer, Nivedita Louis recognises the struggles of a first-time woman writer and helps many articulate their voice with development, content edits as a publisher.
“I usually write during night”, says author Nivedita Louis during our conversation. Chuckling she continues,” It’s easier then to focus solely on writing. Nivedita Louis is a writer, with varied interests and one of the founders of Her Stories, a feminist publishing house, based in Chennai.
In a candid conversation she shared her journey from small-town Tamil Nadu to becoming a history buff, an award-winning author and now a publisher.
Nivedita was born and raised in a small town in Tamil Nadu. It was for schooling that she first arrived in Chennai. Then known as Madras, she recalls being awed by the city. Her love-story with the city, its people and thus began which continues till date. She credits her perseverance and passion to make a difference to her days as a vocational student among the elite sections of Madras.
Please enter your email address