No I Did Not Learn Cooking From My Mother, And I Am Not Ashamed Of It

Posted: July 16, 2018

It is not ‘necessary’ to learn cooking just because one is a girl, and we need to speak up if someone ‘blames’ our mothers for not teaching a skill that can be learnt later too.

I am a married woman with a kid. Before my marriage, everyone would ask me if I knew how to cook. They would be appalled to know that I did not know or enjoy cooking. Then they would rudely comment and say, “Did your mother not teach you cooking?”

I would be annoyed at my mother, and ask her why she hadn’t taught me how to cook. It was very frustrating as I would look around, and every girl would tell me that their mom taught them cooking. I was sad. I felt my mother had committed a mistake in how she had brought me up.




But today as a working woman and as a mother, I understand that my mother taught me the more important values of life. She taught me to be caring and honest. She taught me to respect other people’s views, beliefs, and religion. My mother taught me to be humble. I learned that no work is life is small. Challenges are a part of life and at no point in my life, can I give up.

Today when people say that I have a genuine and warm heart, I feel all the credit goes to my mother. I have many true friends to whom I am not scared to voice my honest opinion. I love each person for their unique characteristics. I strongly believe in multiculturalism. My mother taught me priceless values that cannot be learned in life by any other person. It needs to be ingrained in oneself from birth.

My mother was a working woman, whose father had passed away when she was barely in college. She had to start working to support her younger brothers and sister and her mother. Today my uncles and aunt are successfully established in their careers because my mother had helped them to have a good education despite their father not being there.

My mother had struggled to learn work by herself and be in an unfamiliar environment where everyone else seemed to be far more educated than her. She won an award for her perseverance and hard work; and her ability to work with everyone in the office. She worked for 24 years before she had me. I would fall sick often when I was small. My mother would effortlessly be there taking care of me and taking care of my older siblings. She never regretted not going abroad often like her friends because of financial constraints and our studies. She was happy to be with her family.

My mother always had a cook. My grandmother, I am guessing never taught my mother cooking for reasons I don’t know. My mother always felt that I should always have a career rather than cook. She looked down upon cooking. She encouraged me to write, decorate my house and pursue other activities like singing, dancing and playing sports. To her, cooking did not seem like a skill that was needed to be given importance.

But then I stumbled when I was about to get married. Everyone among my in-laws knew cooking, including my husband. It took me blogs and websites to learn the basics of cooking. My husband always encouraged me to try out recipes. I went from being a girl who did not know how to cook rice to cooking forty dishes for my husband on his birthday. In a span of five years, I had mastered the skill of cooking.

At the age of 27, I had first started to learn cooking. Today everyone praises me for my delicious cooking. They praise me for cooking multicultural cuisines like Bengali, Punjabi, Kashmiri, Italian, American, Chinese, Thai, Middle Eastern, African etc. But all the credit goes to my husband who loves to see me cook. He not only helps me when I cook but devours whatever I cook happily.

My message through my write up is that ladies and girls please don’t be shy, or ashamed of yourself for not knowing something. There is no age limit to when you can master a skill. Be proud of your parents for who they are and what they have taught you.

Today I understand the need to be a career woman as it brings you respect and independence. But I also learned cooking, not to follow what others do, but because my cooking brings happiness to my husband’s face. I also learned to follow sports like American football because my husband and I enjoy watching a match together. He in return has learned to accept me for being organized and tidy always. He helps me with keeping our beautifully decorated home neat.

There are no rights and wrongs in life. People will criticize you, no matter what you do. Do what pleases you and never look down on your parents or family.

Image source: shutterstock

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