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Women carry the burden of being caregivers - caring for a special child, an elder who is bedridden, or a loved one suffering from Alzheimer's. These can be labours of love, but what about me-time for her?
Women carry the burden of being caregivers – caring for a special child, an elder who is bedridden, or a loved one suffering from Alzheimer’s. These can be labours of love, but what about me-time for her?
I love you dearly, though from what I’m going to say
My sentiments may not come across that way-
There are days when in a sleep-deprived daze
I feel I cannot go on any longer, pretending to be unfazed
By the constant exposure to unpleasant fluids varied
I clean silently, but sometimes I can not succeed
In hiding my revulsion at the sights and odours
I try to benumb myself until the clean-up is over
Then sink back exhausted in the armchair
When you take a nap- yet I try to be aware
At all times of your discomfort and your needs
If I do not respond timely, I feel guilty indeed..
I know it is a herculean task for you and me
To drive you to your appointments, definitely
Yet here’s a secret I am ashamed to reveal-
On those days a frisson of excitement I feel
At the thought of an opportunity for interaction
With other human beings- it gives me some satisfaction
To know that there is life outside of these walls
We can still enjoy the beauty of spring, summer and fall..
I know we both wish things were not this way
When you call me for help, I can see the dismay
In your eyes that yet again you need me
Yet again you have demonstrated your dependency
When friends call me for a night out and I reply, inevitably
That I am busy, I can see your eyes tearing up for me
You talk about another caregiver to unburden me
But both of us this is not possible (at least usually)
With limited finances and other constraints
Besides, I have almost learnt to practice restraint
Where entertainment and social activities are concerned-
If I have spare time, I try to enjoy the rest I have earned..
Then there are those days when I am exhausted beyond measure
And there appears my savior, those moments I treasure
When a friend offers to help for a few hours or a day
I feel relieved; I know you do too, more than you would say
This break from caregiving reminds me of how much I love you
And why caring for you is what I would gladly continue to do…
Published here earlier.
Header image is a still from the movie Waiting
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I am a woman, a physician, a mother and an aspiring writer rolled into one. I write about various aspects of my life, and my preferred form of writing is poetry (or rhyming verses). read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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He said that he needed sometime to himself. I waited for him as any other woman would have done, and I gave him his space, I didn't want to be the clingy one.
Trigger Warning: This deals with mental trauma and depression, and may be triggering for survivors.
I am someone who believes in honesty and trust, I trust people easily and I think most of the times this habit of mine turns into bane.
This is a story of how a matrimonial website service turned into a nightmare for me, already traumatized by the two relationships I’ve had. It’s a story for every woman who lives her life on the principles of honesty and trust.
And when she enters the bedroom, she sees her husband's towel lying on the bed, his underwear thrown about in their bathroom. She rolls her eyes, sighs and picks it up to put in the laundry bag.
Vasudha, age 28 – is an excellent dancer, writer, podcaster and a mandala artist. She is talented young woman, a go getter and wouldn’t bat an eyelid if she had to try anything new. She would go head on with it. Everyone knew Vasudha as this cheerful and pretty young lady.
Except when marriage changed everything she knew. Since she was always outdoors, whether for office or for travelling for her dance shows, Vasudha didn’t know how to cook well.
Going by her in-laws definition of cooking – she had to know how to cook any dishes they mentioned. Till then Vasudha didn’t know that learning to cook was similar to getting an educational qualification. As soon as she entered the household after her engagement, nobody was interested what she excelled at, everybody wanted to know – what dishes she knew how to cook.