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I am a bisexual teenager. While coming out to my mom and a small set of friends has been a positive experience, I hope that I will be able to come out openly some time.
I realised I was bisexual at the age of 15 and a half.
I had never met another queer person in my life, although I had seen them on the internet. I realised I liked girls when I got a crush on my best friend. Looking back, I can see that I’d had crushes on girls before, and there is evidence in my diary that points to it, but I hadn’t realised it at the time because no one had ever told me that it was possible for girls to like girls.
I came out to my mother about a month after I came out to myself. She took it well, but said that she was worried about me because society might not be very accepting of who I was. She remains worried even now, but is aggressively supportive of my identity, something that makes me very happy.
I came out as bisexual to a few of my friends in the next few months. The one I had had a crush on told me that she didn’t want to hurt me but she didn’t feel the same way about me, when I told her about my crush too. She’s been very supportive since as a friend, and her behaviour towards me has not changed one bit. Other friends I have told also took it well, with a couple other friends coming out as queer too, some time after I did.
There was a period of time in which I considered the label ‘pansexual’. Pansexuality is defined as attraction to all genders, or attraction regardless of gender, while bisexuality is defined as attraction to two or more genders. They overlap, but the distinction is important to some people. I’ve decided to stick with bisexual because I’m already comfortable with that label. I’ve found that that is the most important thing: being comfortable in my identity is more important than proving it to others, using labels that others think would fit me better, or anything else of the sort. Because it’s my identity and no one else really knows what my experience is with it.
One of the things that helped me become comfortable with my identity and answer a lot of questions about it was Tumblr. Whatever its problems, the Tumblr community is a very welcoming and affirming community for LGBT+ people. One blog that helped me especially was Letters to LGBT Kids, which has posts signed “Tumblr Mom” that explain identities and issues in a very loving and helpful voice. Another Tumblr blog that helped me was Gettin’ Bi. It’s an advice blog for bi people, and they give very detailed answers based on your specific issue.
Apart from that, Tumblr also gave me access to other queer people and their experiences, and has made me feel less alone on multiple occasions.
LGBT+ fiction and music have also been very important. They’ve exposed me to other queer experiences, while also telling me that things can get better than what I have, since despite me having had an almost entirely positive experience coming out, living in India as a queer person still isn’t all that can be desired. LGBT+ books and songs have let me dream of a life in which I can be out and proud, march in pride parades, maybe have a partner, and so much more.
As of now, my plan is to study and work to get out of India and possibly live abroad until Article 377 is overturned or modified so it no longer bans same-sex relationships. I don’t know what’s ahead, but I hope to someday be able to be openly queer and openly proud!
Happy Pride Month 2018!
Image source: pexels
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I huffed, puffed and panted up the hill, taking many rest breaks along the way. My calf muscles pained, my heart protested, and my breathing became heavy at one stage.
“Let’s turn back,” my husband remarked. We stood at the foot of Shravanbelagola – one of the most revered Jain pilgrimage centres. “We will not climb the hill,” he continued.
My husband and I were vacationing in Karnataka. It was the month of May, and even at the early hour of 8 am in the morning, the sun scorched our backs. After visiting Bangalore and Mysore, we had made a planned stop at this holy site in the Southern part of the state en route to Hosur. Even while planning our vacation, my husband was very excited at the prospect of visiting this place and the 18 m high statue of Lord Gometeshwara, considered one of the world’s tallest free-standing monolithic statues.
What we hadn’t bargained for was there would be 1001 granite steps that needed to be climbed to have a close-up view of this colossal magic three thousand feet above sea level on a hilltop. It would be an understatement to term it as an arduous climb.
Why is the Social Media trend of young mothers of boys captioning their parenting video “Dear future Daughter-in-Law, you are welcome” deeply problematic and disturbing to me as a young mother of a girl?
I have recently come across a trend on social media started by young mothers of boys who share videos where they teach their sons to be sensitive and understanding and also make them actively participate in household chores.
However, the problematic part of this trend is that such reels or videos are almost always captioned, “To my future daughter-in-law, you are welcome.” I know your intentions are positive, but I would like to point out how you are failing the very purpose you wanted to accomplish by captioning the videos like this.
I know you are hurt—perhaps by a domestic household that lacks empathy, by a partner who either is emotionally unavailable, is a man-child adding to your burden of parenting instead of sharing it, or who is simply backed by overprotective and abusive in-laws who do not understand the tiring journey of a working woman left without any rest as doing the household chores timely is her responsibility only.
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