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The trailer of the upcoming film Sanju has outraged several people because it is a prime example of double standards for men and women.
Unmarried women who are sexually active and own their sexuality without fear are always judged, whereas for men it’s as if sleeping with multiple women gets them bonus points. This concept is promoted in popular culture too.
Many very well-known sitcoms have a stereotypical ladies’ man. There is Charlie from Two and a Half Men, Barney from How I Met Your Mother (who even goes so far as to create The Playbook on how to score with the ladies) and Joey from everyone’s favourite show – Friends. This character is usually extremely proud of his sexual promiscuity and treats women as conquests. Howard also attempts to be this guy on The Big Bang Theory, but this show differs from others is that the character known for actually being really sexually active is a woman – Penny. And she is the butt of many jokes due to that; she is slut-shamed quite a bit (although there recently was an episode which involved her shutting down a male character who slut-shamed her – baby steps I guess).
Indian popular culture is not too different – sexually active men are studs while sexually active women are sluts. The trailer of the movie Sanju has Ranbir Kapoor (who stars as actor Sanjay Dutt) bragging about having slept with multiple women. People have taken to Twitter to complain about the fact that if the film had been named Sanjana and had a woman boasting about similar things, then she would have been slammed for it.
Some might say that all this is hogwash and ‘feminazi’ propaganda. Well, I direct them to watch Indian movies that have been released in the past and notice the pattern.
For instance, the 2012 Hindi film Cocktail has the sexually promiscuous male protagonist start a sexual relationship with an equally sexually promiscuous female protagonist. However, she is brought to her knees, begging him to love her and saying that she will change her ways. Meanwhile, he prefers her ‘good girl’ best friend whom ‘he can take home to mommy’. This isn’t explicitly stated but it is part of a culture that values chastity over everything else. Another example, is the 2004 Tamil movie Manmadhan in which the hero finds and kills ‘morally incorrect’ girls because boys are ‘Oh, so noble!’
The movie Sanju is probably going to add to the already long list of works of fiction all over the world in which men who have slept with many women are glorified. Yes, women are prizes that men have to win by overcoming obstacles that come in the way of getting them, to have sex with them. Women who openly want to have sex are sluts or evil bitches. Three cheers for double standards!
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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