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My sister spoke up when her marriage was being fixed with a groom whose family was asking for a dowry. We need to speak up and be the change we want to see.
“You just book the flat, I’ll speak to the groom’s family. They shall be ready for the marriage,” said the person over the phone.
“But my daughter is against this, she will not accept it,” said my mother.
“Bhabhiji what has she got to do with all this? She is the bride, you are her parent. You know dowry is a custom,” he replied back.
My 25 year old unmarried sister who was an Orthopedic doctor heard this conversation. She immediately took the phone from my mother and disconnected the call, and looked at my mother.
My mother asked her, “Why did you cut the call? What’s wrong with you?”
My sister asked, “Something is wrong with me? What do I look to you? Am I a commodity? A burden for you?”
“Are you mad? You’re my daughter! You are perfect, there is nothing wrong about you my child. I am just concerned about your future,” my mother replied.
With a sad face, my sister then said, “Mummy did you educate me to see a day like today? And what is wrong with my future? I am well educated, getting salary of almost 1 lakh a month. If someone wants to marry me, I should be enough for him and his family… don’t you think so?”
She continued, “Mom you are insulting your own daughter by giving a dowry. Am I not good enough for the groom’s family that you’re bribing them with dowry to get that boy married to me? If you don’t respect me, how do you expect his family to respect me after you get me married? Instead of getting married into such a family I would prefer being unmarried!”
My mother’s eyes was filled with tears. She picked up her phone and called back the same man who she was speaking to before and said, “Bhaiyyaji Please say no to the groom’s family. I would not like to get my daughter married into a family where they give material things more importance than my beautiful daughter. My daughter is educated, and good enough to get suitors who would marry her for the beautiful soul that she possesses and not Dowry. I am proud of my daughter and respect her decisions.” After stating this, she disconnected the call.
My sister hugged my mother and they both cried, not in sorrow but in happiness.
Be bold enough to bring in change and to stand by it!
Image source: pixabay
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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