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Her husband has pain during sex, but is terrified of the surgery suggested, so there are no orgasms for her in an otherwise loving and close relationship.
He and I met 6 years ago and got married within a year of long distance dating. He was based in Europe and I was in India. There was little time to jump into the sack during our courting period but we had sex a few times when he visited for a short stint of 1 week. In retrospect, I wasn’t sure of our sex life, because the high I was getting from being in a committed relationship far exceeded the high you experience whilst having sex.
We tied the knot and went on our honeymoon to an exotic location, a paradise beach island. The honeymoon was mostly spent in exploring the place and trying out activities like scuba diving, parasailing and sightseeing all day. This left us too exhausted to try anything remotely physical. After all we had our whole lives ahead of us for sex! We were mature individuals on the right side of thirties and lacked the energy of teenagers.
We headed back to India. I had to start afresh in a new city as my husband had a job there. Neither of us belonged to this city, but we were having a great time discovering each other in the absence of my in-laws or folks. Sex was finally served on the table.
My husband started to complain of pain during sex because of a tight foreskin problem. Many times, we had to quit right in the middle of it because he was in pain, leaving me high and dry (literally!). He avoided any discussions and I could not go on without confronting the problem and coming up with a solution; after all we didn’t want to be an asexual couple.
So we consulted a sexologist who advised getting the foreskin removed surgically since it was causing problems. My husband was terrified of undergoing the knife and I didn’t want to insist either. Our dry spell continued. He enjoyed hand jobs more as they were more controlled in action and didn’t cause pain; I dry humped the edge of a chair or bed to get pleasure when he wasn’t around.
It was time to procreate as my biological clock was ticking, so I consulted a Gynecologist to plan my pregnancy, she was studying my ovulation cycle and on the day of ovulation she gave me the green signal. When I reached home that night I told him I was ovulating and we had to do it. His existing problem coupled with performance anxiety knowing this session may result in creating a life was not helping at all. I felt like Monica from friends, demanding we get it done! So we chose a non-traditional method of completing the act. I gave him a hand job and when he ejaculated I inserted his penis inside of my vagina. It’s ironic, a couple struggling to have sex makes a baby in the first go!
My sex life hasn’t gotten any better. When I masturbate I don’t have a single memory of having a steamy session with my husband that I can replay in my head. My imagination is filled with the sex I had with my ex.
My husband has moved to another city and set up a business of his own, and I will be moving to his home town soon. We were just waiting for the business to get on its feet.
In the 6 years of our marriage we’ve lived under the same roof for 4 years. We haven’t had sex in the last 6 months. I love him and he loves me but this void will always be…
UNCENSORED is a new Women’s Web handle that lets you share frank, uninhibited notes about sex – a topic that there is far too little honest discussion of in India, especially from the female perspective. Have something to say? Send us your piece at [email protected] and we’ll make sure you stay anonymous if you want to.
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As he stood in front of his door, Nishant prayed that his wife would be in a better mood. The baby thing was tearing them apart. When was the last time he had seen his wife smile?
Veena got into the lift. It was a festival day, and the space was crammed with little children dressed in bright yellow clothes, wearing fancy peacock feather crowns, and carrying flutes. Janmashtami gave her the jitters. She kept her face down, refusing to socialize with anyone.
They had moved to this new apartment three months ago. The whole point of shifting had been to get away from the ruthless questioning by ‘well-wishers’.
“You have been married for ten years! Why no child yet?”
I huffed, puffed and panted up the hill, taking many rest breaks along the way. My calf muscles pained, my heart protested, and my breathing became heavy at one stage.
“Let’s turn back,” my husband remarked. We stood at the foot of Shravanbelagola – one of the most revered Jain pilgrimage centres. “We will not climb the hill,” he continued.
My husband and I were vacationing in Karnataka. It was the month of May, and even at the early hour of 8 am in the morning, the sun scorched our backs. After visiting Bangalore and Mysore, we had made a planned stop at this holy site in the Southern part of the state en route to Hosur. Even while planning our vacation, my husband was very excited at the prospect of visiting this place and the 18 m high statue of Lord Gometeshwara, considered one of the world’s tallest free-standing monolithic statues.
What we hadn’t bargained for was there would be 1001 granite steps that needed to be climbed to have a close-up view of this colossal magic three thousand feet above sea level on a hilltop. It would be an understatement to term it as an arduous climb.
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