Check out these 8 Government Loan Schemes That You Can Benefit From As A Woman In Business.
A bully who hurts others is reeling under some pain themselves. Which is how trolls happen. How can someone help themselves if they find themselves in pain?
Pain kills pain. What does that statement exactly mean? That more severe pain can overcome distress caused by a smaller one, or does that mean causing pain to others can reduce your pain? At least few believe the latter option to be true.
Human minds have this unique talent of interpreting facts to ones convenience and misconstrued thoughts completely. That’s why we see people using different methods to escape their worries, like trying to bail out their hurt and irritation by giving pain to others.
Sadness can sometimes turn into a drug… one then tends to depend on and make it an excuse for the actions one commits, as justification for the person one has become.
If you have had a bad day, your basic tendency is to snap at the first person who gives you the slightest opportunity. You have a tendency to rub this irritation of yours on to the first soft target you meet. You just want to make sure that the other person also gets a share of what you are going through.
This soft target can be your subordinate or the guy who honks at you in traffic. At home it can be either your parents or spouse, or child, which is the worse part. In our turmoil we often tend to clink on to the nearest trees and end up hurting our closest or dearest people the most.
The justification you most often give for your action is your suffering.
“You don’t know what I am going through” is your explanation to others and most ironically to your own conscience.
Yes you are going through a lot, but is that a justification for ending up causing hurt to others through your actions? We realise that we need to see beyond ourself, but are so stuck with ourselves and our issues that we conveniently overlook that.
Most of us have those times when we feel nothing is working right. It feels like one has lost the last iota of hope and faith which makes things even worse, because then you are not left with even the drive to try. One tends to relapse into that self drenching sorrow and we just need a source to vent.
These days one of the easiest option to vent is social media. A lot of people unleash their frustrations by using celebs as punching bags. People continuously take the trouble of stalking them and reaching their walls just to inform them how much they hate them or how ugly he or she looks. For the person who vents it might be an instant relief, but for a person subjected to such multiple hate messages it could affect them emotionally. Many celebrities like Karan Johar have been vocal about how traumatising it has been to be continuously subjected to hate or troll showers.
There is a major section who finds relief from their worries by watching shows of, or following these the actors on social media. Some even take the liberty of fantasising themselves with the actors or ship their favourite onscreen couple, which basically is a harmless way of keeping oneself occupied.
The problem is when they start taking it way too seriously and are just not ready to give up the delusion, and end up trolling anyone who says or does anything to upset their fantasy. This leads to them posting hate comments on these celebs’ real life friends and partners. Some even go to the extent of cussing people if someone has a point of view different from their idols. They are trying to use their hate as a synonym of love. That is never possible; love can never be expressed through hating others. It’s actually your frustration you are trying to sugar coat in the name of love.
When you are miffed with world and your own destiny, the only place you can find empathy are your emotions. Then your pain can turn to an addiction; not that you want it, but it unknowingly becomes a solace… that you kind of help each other to co-exist.
The pain of sadness is deceptive, it evokes self pity or a tendency to victimise yourself. Our pain leads us to many actions which our mind may not approve of. This justification of pain then turns out to be the defence mechanism of our actions, an excuse or armour for the person one is turning into. An explanation to oneself and the world for all the hard times one gives to people, which otherwise we subconsciously know is not the right thing to do. It’s like an attempt to put blame on someone else for your doings.
“Your pain is understandable but that doesn’t mean your behaviour is acceptable.” — Steve Maraboli.
There may not be always a cure for your sorrows, but find a way to deal with it. Talk to people, take professional help. If you are not keen on talking with someone else about it, you could try helping yourself:
Sometimes this might help you to recover, but if the issue is grave, don’t hesitate to deal it with proper consultation. Depression and mental health are very serious issues which need the highest priority. They need proper medical attention and care.
When you hurt others the fact is that deep down inside you are aware of your actions. They can actually harm yourself more and you eventually despise yourself even more. Rather try to churn out something positive with your inner strength and goodness. You’ll actually feel better about yourself and life itself.
Published here earlier.
Image source: pxhere
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views. Individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times. If you have a complementary or differing point of view, sign up and start sharing your views too!
Lover of words....someone who work to live and write to stay alive . Good reads and the wonderful feeling of creating got me into writing. read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
Mostly Normal is a book of innocence, longing, filial love, angst and acceptance, encapsulating a gamut of human emotions within its lightweight edifice. The book touches the human heart and will stay with you.
Some books enthral you till the last page, and then there are those that you stop reading after turning a few pages. Some books are a one-time read, while you carry some books with you long after you have read them. Then, once in a while, a book hits you so close to home that you find it difficult to slot into any category.
I will put Priyadeep Kaur’s Mostly Normal (BookSoul Reads, 2022) in this last bracket.
At a little less than hundred pages, Mostly Normal is a testimony of the power of words to inspire, irrespective of their length.
Most women do not get to live their lives the way they want, on their own terms. So why should they be tied down in their old age?
Every morning, while dropping the kids at the bus stop, I find a grandfather waiting with his granddaughter. I see him again when I fetch the kids. This has been the pattern for the last few years.
He is seen actively participating in his granddaughter’s activities, from morning and evening walks to attending her parent-teachers meeting, sending her for extracurricular activities to even planning her birthday party. He is admired by all. He is appreciated for making himself useful in his old age. People rave that the doting grandfather is doing his duty towards his children and grandchildren. The much-admired grandfather is also a widower, having lost his wife years ago to chronic disease. It’s also to be noted that both his son and daughter-in-law are working parents.
Every day, the onlookers appreciate his sense of duty and dedication. They say that this is how the elderly should keep themselves occupied. They should bring up their grandchildren while their children go off to work.
Please enter your email address