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Tinder can easily lead to an unpleasant experience, especially in a country like India. How do you know who filter out the creeps and swipe right only the nice guys?
We have all heard about Tinder. We have also heard about how a woman is viewed if she is on Tinder. What? You on Tinder? Why???
Well TBH, outside of India, Tinder is used as a hook up app, with absolutely n0 strings attached. This is could be because society abroad is open about sex, a basic need for any living and reproducing mammal.
In India, sex outside of marriage is a taboo, (okay okay I hear you! ) let’s say, largely. So when I first matched with guys on Tinder they would immediately as why was “I” on Tinder. Could I not manage a relationship or a marriage yet? Or to understand what I was looking for, maybe. Almost every match asked me this and I started to copy & paste my response (sorry guys).
I am not here to post another article on why Tinder is bad, shallow and absolutely not recommended. I am actually here to write about how to use Tinder better to meet people whom you would have otherwise never met in your life. It is just another app people, it doesn’t dictate your life!
Okay, let’s cut the melodrama here. No one, I say, no one can guarantee you a creep free experience. It is just not possible. However by placing a few filters, you could probably avoid running into a bad experience. Actually post a few heart breaks, everyone develops an ability to filter out the creeps just by looking at a profile picture, isn’t it? (Yes, that’s judgemental me!)
So, what is should be your creep filter? Whom to swipe Right?
Once you match with a profile you like, wait for the person to initiate the conversation (men still want to do that, lol). If they haven’t initiated the conversation in 24 hours, go ahead and drop a hello. The next obvious question is, what on earth do I write?
Online dating means you get judged. You could get ghosted because it is the easiest thing to do! Don’t feel bad about all of these. This may or may not have anything to do with you.
If you’ve figure out that ‘your’ behaviour is the cause, then great! Go ahead and work on it. It means you have identified a positive change to bring in yourself, isn’t that amazing?
If that’s not the case, like when he person says he is not open for a relationship due to what so ever reasons, then you have nothing to blame yourself for. Don’t demean or say rude things to the other person. It is their battle, let them fight it. You bow out peacefully and do what will keep you happy.
You have only a limited time on this planet! So cheer up, have fun and go for it!
Header image is a screenshot from the movie Qarib Qarib Singlle
I am independent consultant with more than 10 years of recruiting, program management experience in multinational organisations like Hewlett Packard, Microsoft, Broadcom where I have recruited engineers across global locations and set up teams for read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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