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We first met as teenagers, but weren't very good friends, and it took us 3 cities, 2 failed relationships, and almost a decade before we realised we are soulmates.
We first met as teenagers, but weren’t very good friends, and it took us 3 cities, 2 failed relationships, and almost a decade before we realised we were soulmates.
The first time that I met T, I was coming out of my chemistry tuition classes. A lean fellow then, he looked way more arrogant than his seventeen years. Our twelfth board exams were due to begin in three months and he joined my tuition batch for joint entrance examinations.
I had already lost my heart to chemistry and the only reason I was part of that group was because I wanted to pursue higher studies in the subject from a premier institute. I don’t remember ever interacting with him, while he always nurtured an irritation towards me for consistently topping the class tests.
I got through my dream college in Kolkata for pursuing Chemistry Hons. He got through the most coveted medical college there for pursuing M.B.B.S. The funny co-incidence was that our colleges were adjacent. The day we went to bid adieu to our Professor was the only time we spoke wishing each other luck for the future.
Moving from a small town to a metro city to stay in a hostel meant a lot of adjustments. There were relatives who never visited and friends who I mostly lost touch with. Often I would wonder how he might be coping up. After all he was just next door. But the fact that we hardly knew each other stopped me from every trying to contact him.
Eventually I was in another relationship. After finishing graduation, I moved to Delhi to pursue my Masters. Sometimes I wondered if T was a doctor yet. I shifted to Bangalore next and started working. Few years later, I was left heartbroken in my relationship. I was in the first year of my MBA then. I was campus recruited for a banking job with the country’s top private bank in Mysore. I had not really kept track about T’s life until then.
It was the August of 2010 when I found a friend request pending from someone who looked vaguely similar to T on Orkut. Just to reconfirm it was him; I sent him a scrap first. In a moment, he replied. In no time, we started talking like long-lost friends ending up exchanging numbers. When he called that night, I ended up talking to him for two hours straight. Soon enough, I was surprised to know the number of attempts T had made to contact me through a common senior and by randomly visiting the college. Finally when he had come to know of my relationship status, he had given up on me. He and I shared the same history of a sour relationship but what was strange was the similarity in the duration and timing.
We grew thick as friends. Even if he had an emergency night shift; our day always began and ended with a call. Having grown up in the same town, we had a lot of common things to speak about. We realized that we had grown up with the same middle class values and had similar outlook towards life.
T hated traveling. Yet in November 2010, he took a flight to Bangalore and a four hours road trip to Mysore to pay me a surprise visit. After the initial moment of awkwardness, it felt like we had known each other forever. A day later, he proposed. It happened so naturally that I wouldn’t have expected it to be any different. My parents were on a break in Mysore then. T was so sure of our relationship that he met my parents.
I was clueless about how T had arranged the alliance in less than a month. His parents spoke to me first and then my parents. Soon the families met and we were engaged in April 2011.
T & my engagement
In June 2011, T and I got married in our home town amidst friends and family. T took up an M.D. assignment in Mysore since my transfer to Kolkata looked impossible. Born and brought up in a nuclear family, it was a great deal of adjustment initially to be married into a joint family even though the stay was just for few weeks. T turned out to be a great support for me to sail through this.
Five months into the marriage; we lost my mother to an undiagnosed disease. T was my rock of Gibraltar. On the morning of our engagement, he had confessed to being in love with me ever since we had spoken for the first time. Deep down, I had always known but lived in denial. It took three cities, a failed relationship each, and more than a decade to realize that we were always destined to be together.
Published here earlier.
Image source:By Faisal Akram from Dhaka, Bangladesh (A Day Out With Friends) [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons
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With two post-graduate degrees and eight years of corporate experience, I quit my banking job to become a writer. I pen down my opinion on food, travel, movies, parenting, personal journeys, social issues and read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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She would serve everyone fresh food and serve herself the stale rice and curries from the previous meal. Some days after finishing the leftovers she was so full she would not even be able to even taste the fresh food.
When I married the first time, my MIL told me that during the Navratri the lady of the house should not eat stale food. ‘Gharatlya bai ni shila khau naye’ — in refined upper caste Marathi.
I was just 26, eager to please, not versed in patriarchy or feminism, and it seemed like a positive thing — respect for the goddess in woman.
But soon I realised she spent the remaining 356 days of her year finishing leftovers. And that I was expected to do the same.
In an unequal world with fewer women in the workforce, and facing gender pay gaps everywhere, negotiating salary can be an essential skill.
The thought of negotiating salary can be daunting, especially for women. Here are the six steps to achieve favourable outcomes from salary negotiations.
*Names changed on request to protect privacy.
I stared at the offer letter. The company had offered me a 20% increase over my current compensation – the lower end of the range I had conveyed after two gruelling interview rounds. There was a further devil in the details; they had included gratuity in the compensation offered, whereas I had not considered this component in my take-home calculations.