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“If they are like this today, what if I end up being their puppet tomorrow? I would certainly not be happy if they keep dictating over me even if it is for my own good…”
Since childhood, she was constantly pressurised to carry out things the way her family wanted. It affected her, leaving her feeling hurt and aggrieved. No one was willing to consider that she had a ‘wish’ too… “This will have to change,” she decided. “It cannot go on like this forever. Now it is my parents who are doing this to me. Who knows, later it could be the in-laws who might do this to me! I would have to break out of these chains someday and become independent,” she thought to herself.
As she grew up, her desire for freedom of thought crystallised into determination – spiralling to such an intensity that she cringed and began inwardly separating herself from anything and anybody that could influence her in any way.
She got herself well educated to be financially independent. Got married to have a family different from the one she was not happy with, and got an independent identity. She had children to ensure that her life had it’s due share of joys and pleasures in place.
Now the children were young, loving and caring in their own way. They would prevail over her to take care of herself, out of concern for her. But was she happy though? No!
This troubled her, once again a fresh fear gripping her mind. “If they are like this today, what if I end up being their puppet tomorrow? I would certainly not be happy if they keep dictating over me even if it is for my own good…”
So once again she decided she would have to separate herself well before time, and set out to do so. “Better be safe than be sorry,” she thought.
But suddenly there was the crowding of these doubts as they assailed her. “What am I doing?” she questioned herself. “How can I even think of separating from those loved ones whom I have myself brought into this world? Is there anything wrong with me? Am I ‘the failure’ in managing relationships? In the quest of being heard, am I making myself unheard?”
“Am I making myself independent or am I simply making myself lonely by shutting people out?” This was the question that loomed large over her mind now but with no palpable answers.
“Oh what a Chakra! This is indeed a vicious circle,” grieved her mind inward. “I think I need help…!”
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