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A couple of years back, I never knew the significance of #MeTime. However, it didn’t take me long to understand its importance in achieving my personal development goals.
The first few months of my married life were awesome. I left my job and relocated to Bangalore. It was a complete new set up and a new way of living – new family, new friends and new relatives. The period after marriage can be a turning point in many women’s lives as it involves a lot of adjustments.
I tried to fit into the roles of being a perfect wife and a daughter-in-law. Soon, I became a mother. Yet another role to add to the list. It was during this period, that my father’s health began to deteriorate rapidly. But I was constantly receiving advice from all directions on how to be a good mother. There were high expectations and there was pressure to perform my best as a mother, even when I was going through a stressful period.
I was multitasking and the whole process was exhausting. It even affected my sleep and this caused my stress levels to go up. Simultaneously my father’s health was distressing me. These negative circumstances led to a complete burnout, as I was stressing over things that were beyond my control. We sometimes get so caught up in the roles we play that we don’t realise we have a life of our own too. To divert my mind from all the stressors, I began reading a lot and I learned how important it is to invest some time in myself and my personal development goals.
I made it my new goal. It was not an easy task though. I tried to complete all my household chores on time. My family took turns to look after my son. We also made arrangements for a new maid. I was blessed to have her, as she took over most of the household duties and even helped with looking after the kid. These changes gave me ample time to indulge in activities that I loved the most like reading, writing and listening to music. Relaxation was brought back into my life. ‘Me time’ was the first step towards healing my mind.
It gave me time to introspect and analyse various areas of my life – the areas that were satisfying and the areas that needed work. I could reflect over my strengths and weaknesses in my personality. It gave me a chance to work on my weak points and take pride in my strengths.
‘Me time’ gave me the space and time to reorganize my thoughts. By having ample time to think about my decisions, I became a wise decision maker. I became less impulsive and took time to think before I took any important step. I began to think more clearly, unlike before wherein my thoughts were more disoriented.
Whenever trouble knocks at my door, instead of rushing to the phone to call someone, I turn to myself for support. I’ve thrown away the ‘crutches of dependency’. Little day to day stuff that used to weigh me down earlier, doesn’t worry me anymore.
If I am tired of work, a few minutes with myself charges me up. I feel fresh and recharged to attend to my next task with complete gusto.
I was so used to hanging around with family and friends that I really found it daunting when I started going out alone, especially after marriage. It was a struggle even to go shopping alone. I always needed a companion. But now, I feel confident travelling alone. I take my own decisions and I feel more empowered.
Always being around people, also means that you have to bear the brunt of their stress, complaints and their negativity. It’s not healthy for your mind, if you have to deal with this negativity on a day-to-day basis. ‘Me time’ gives you a break from all the stressors, that can be in the form of people too.
Last but not the least, ‘me time’ has tapped my creative potential in so many ways. I began to write. I created a blog and my thoughts began to pour out like a fast flowing stream. There was so much to pen down. As a result, I became an avid blogger and an article writer. I valued myself for my talents. It helped me explore an unknown territory.
Being alone is not the same as being lonely. When you are lonely you crave for company. Being alone simply means you are comfortable and secure in your own company. It doesn’t mean that you stop hanging out with friends or your loved ones. It only means that you are powerful enough NOT to run away from your own self.
A lot of women feel guilty to give themselves quality time. The truth is, ‘me time’ is an absolute must for our own well-being and to work towards our personal development goals.
Honestly, it took me a lot of time to enjoy being alone. Now, I enjoy my ‘me time’ thoroughly and I can’t do without it! I have finally come to the conclusion, that ‘me time’ can give us valuable experiences and can assist us to emerge more powerful than ever before.
Do you also love having your #MeTime? What are the ways in which you indulge in it?
Published here earlier.
Images source: Diana Pinto
Diana has worked as an Editor/Writer and Content Manager for various digital platforms and hopes that each word written in this space supports, motivates and inspires her readers in India or across seas. Besides read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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