Anupama writes a letter to her 18-years old daughter. Read what she has to say.
As a woman in her 30s, the author realises some truths and shares some nuggets with all of us, essential learning that most do know about in their hearts.
I would soon be turning 32 and it makes me feel as if almost half of my life is over and I am like ”when did this happen…?!”
Life slips away with each passing moment and we often don’t realize this. One moment passed doesn’t feel like a big thing but together they make the whole life span and that actually matters.
I am sharing a few things that I have learnt in last few years and I hope it helps in making things a little bit better!
Things that I left unfinished occupy a space in my mind and keep haunting me. Sometimes it seems like such a big task to go back and finish, but some things in life need a proper closure. Be it a relationship you need to leave behind, some paper work or a phone call that you are expected to make.
It feels great to finish it and give it a closure. Making a to-do list, and then striking off the tasks you have finished does feel good.
It does really feel great to have a few hundred friends and thousand followers on social media but do they actually make you feel like friends? No, certainly not all of them. Even if it’s more than 20, you are really a social being. But that’s not me. I can count my friends on fingers.
With time, I realized that a big group of friends is good for good times but when you are feeling low or sad, you would only want those few who actually matter and understand you. To me, a friend who has never seen me cry is not my real friend. They are just acquaintances. I have become choosy about everything now, especially people I spend my time with.
Do you like hanging out with people who are not your kind of people? Or people who are not from your own circle, office or age group? Give it a try. It’s really enlightening. You get to see things from others’ perspective. It opens up your mind to new ideas and experiences.
The person you are going to spend most of your time with is you. Invest in yourself. Make yourself your priority. Do more of what makes you happy. Spare some time for just yourself. Take good care of your health.
More often than not, we ignore our mental and spiritual health. This is as important as our physical well being. Take help wherever you need. Talk about things that upset you and if you are unable to find the right person to talk, write about it. Just give your thoughts and emotions an expression. Lastly, eat consciously. Your body is growing old and it needs all the right nutrients to keep it working fine.
You don’t need to respond to every big and small thing. If you feel that you are not needed at a place, don’t go there. If you feel you don’t need to explain, don’t do. There would always be people who misunderstand. You don’t need to address every single issue.
Pick your fights wisely. Don’t indulge in unnecessary drama and don’t let others drain your energy in any way. Just observe, think and then take action. Preserve your energy for better things. Avoid people who make you feel anything negative. And if you really have to be in any such environment, learn the art of ignoring.
Though I have realized comparison is inevitable at times but if you really have to compare, compare your past self with your present self rather with other people. See your growth graph and make changes where you feel needed. Everybody has different aspirations, different conditions and different obstacles in life. We are just being unfair to ourselves by comparing.
I read somewhere that one should accept the apologies never received. Learn to forgive and start with yourself. I often wonder that we all usually have differences with our parents and siblings but we try to sort them out or just ignore the differences and carry on. Then why can’t we ignore or sort differences with our spouses? Why do we expect that it has to feel perfect all the time?
Open conversations work much better than assumptions and expectations.
Some people you believe you cannot live without, show you a different side of the story. People you thought you can never be friends with, become your partners in crime. You sometimes fail and sometimes succeed. You leave some things behind and you acquire new habits. People leave, people join, some stay and life just goes on.
This is the time you start understanding the depth of things your parents have been telling you for years. You realize the importance of time, money, relationships and health.
I have been very lucky to have a wonderful family and I can’t thank God enough for this blessing. But I wish I had realized this earlier. Spend quality time with your parents. Life is transient and regret is a very strong emotion. Nobody stays forever, make it all worthwhile. Express your love. Sort your differences. If someone you love hurts you, initiate the conversation.
Image source: pixabay
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